March 14, 2000 (2000-03-14) – October 1, 2002 (2002-10-01)
Son of the Beach is an American sitcom that aired from March 14, 2000, to October 1, 2002, on FX. The series is a spoof of Baywatch, with much of the comedy based on sexual double entendres, puns, innuendo and the like. A major running gag portrayed the handsome David Hasselhoff character as a balding, middle-aged, pot-bellied and out-of-shape man who is nonetheless seen by all the other characters as highly fit and attractive. Radio talk show host Howard Stern was one of the executive producers.
The title is a pun on the phrase "son of a bitch." Likewise, character names are rife with puns and innuendo. Porcelain Bidet, B.J. Cummings, Jamaica St. Croix ("you make a saint cry"), Anita Massengil, and Notch Johnson all refer to some sort of double entendre, while Chip Rommel's name refers to the "Desert Fox", further punctuating the fact that the character is German, his parents being "The Rommels of Paraguay" (South America was a refuge for hunted Nazis at the close of World War II). "Notch" and "B.J." are also parodies of the names of the Baywatch characters played by David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson – Mitch and C. J. Kimberlee Clark's name is a pun on the company Kimberly-Clark, manufacturer of paper products such as Kleenex and Kotex.
Cast
Main cast
Timothy Stack as Notchibald "Notch" Johnson – The world's best lifeguard and leader of the Malibu Adjacent SPF 30, who is the best at everything he tries in spite of being old, overweight, and often clueless. He is something of a legend in Malibu Adjacent as several locations are named for him such as the Notch Johnson Home for Orphans and Retards and the Notch Johnson Space Center.
Jaime Bergman as B.J. Cummings – Lovely young woman who grew up poor in the rural South. Naïve about sex but endlessly cheerful and nice.
Leila Arcieri as Jamaica St. Croix – Tough lifeguard from the inner-city, shaped when she was abandoned by her parents.
Kim Oja as Kimberlee Clark – Sweet "girl next door" type assigned to SPF 30 as a spy to bring down Notch Johnson, but ended up a loyal team member who falls in love with him.
Lou Rosenthal as Spank – the monkey who serves as sort of a mascot for SPF 30.
Lisa Banes as Mayor Anita Massengil (2000–2001) – Unpleasant Mayor of Malibu Adjacent who wants Notch Johnson out of the SPF 30 because everyone likes him more than her and he is better than her at everything, and an absentee mother to her flamboyantly gay son Kody.
Amy Weber as Porcelain Bidet (2002) – An unpleasant but extremely attractive dark-haired gold digger attached to the SPF 30 in Season 3.
Recurring characters
Anthony Wayne Johnson dancer – In the Line of Booty (2002)
Candace Kita as Asian female news reporter (4 episodes) (2001–2002)
Robert Ryan as Professor Milosovic (13 episodes) (2000–2002) – A wheelchair-using genius scientist who enjoys smutty humor.
Jason Hopkins as Kody Massengil (12 episodes) (2001–2001) – Mayor Massengill's openly gay son, who has a huge crush on Chip Rommel.
Lynne Marie Stewart as Ellen (11 episodes) (2000–2002) – The friendly beach lesbian and purveyor of fish tacos from her food truck, who seems able to turn any straight woman into her latest fling.
Vincent Pastore as Vinnie Fellachio (3 episodes) (2000–2002) – Disgusting mobster who is Jamaica's biological father.
The SPF 30 and their fearless leader Notch Johnson are introduced, as new team member (and spy for bitter anti-Notch Mayor Anita Massengill) Kimberlee Clark helps them stop a human-trafficking operation.
Radioactive seafood puts Malibu Adjacent's spring break/battle of the bands plans in jeopardy.
3
3
"In the G-Hetto"
George Verschoor
David Morgasen & Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
March 28, 2000 (2000-03-28)
Jamaica is blackmailed into running drugs but Notch takes her place. Also, the mayor guarantees Chip a win in a body building contest in exchange for sexual favors.
4
4
"Love, Native-American Style"
George Verschoor
David Morgasen & Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
April 4, 2000 (2000-04-04)
Notch must stop his adopted Native American brother from selling the Kahonee land to a crooked businessman who wishes to build a casino. Also, Chip needs money to assist his family and moonlights as a male stripper.
Notch has to regain his legendary surfing skills, and the memory of his late super-surfer father, to stop criminal Adolf Manson from taking over the beach.
Notch and the girls travel to the country of Humidor to help a friend stop a military coup and wind up in prison. Back in Malibu Adjacent, Chip runs the Junior Lifeguard program with an iron fist.
Notch's old commanding officer Captain Tenille arrives in town with plans to assassinate a world leader who's signing a peace treaty in Malibu Adjacent.
Notch is assigned to guard beautiful but insane movie star Regina Streep and has to guard against her either falling in love with him or causing his violent death.
David Arquette is Johnny Queefer, whose gang of motorcycle punks plans to take over the beach.
19
6
"Light My Firebush"
Tim Andrew
Joe Port & Joe Wiseman
April 17, 2001 (2001-04-17)
B. J. gets a visit from her mother and both are kidnapped by her evil stepfather. Meanwhile, Notch hires his adopted Native American sister as a lifeguard.
The SPF 30 crew travels to Israel, where Notch commiserates with old friend Nocchus Johnstein, Chip finds love and faces possible circumcision, and the group has to foil a terrorist plot.
Jamaica's space shuttle flight is threatened by a teenage hacker, so Notch goes undercover at a high school to save her.
24
11
"The Island of Dr. Merlot"
John Putch
David Morgasen & Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
June 19, 2001 (2001-06-19)
B.J. invents "Life Breasts" while taking night classes at Kelsey Grammar School.On the way to the International Flotation Convention in Bermuda,her and Notch crash land on the island of an eccentric millionaire who hunts humans for sport.
Notch is the pit crew chief for his friend's 3/4 midget race and must take the wheel after the competition sabotages the car,critically injuring the friend.Meanwhile Ellen and her girlfriend settle their differences with foxy boxing.
27
14
"Area 69"
John Putch
Story by : Joe Port & Joe Wiseman Teleplay by : David Morgasen & Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
July 10, 2001 (2001-07-10)
Notch's old commanding officer Capt. Tenille returns as the crew tries to find a kidnapped BJ.
Tex Finklestein creates a new reality show Penetration Island, starring SPF 30. Unfortunately,rebel leader Dirty Sanchez and his team want their homeland back, and the show's contestants must now try to survive.
B.J. is interning for Congressman Bukaki in Washington, DC. When the news reports the politician is having a scandalous affair with her, Notch, Kimberlee and Jamaica head to the Capitol to investigate. Back in Malibu Adjacent, meanwhile, Ellen is hosting a charity for homeless lesbians, "Lezaid Faire", with Chip providing security.
33
5
"Witness for the Prostitution"
Tim Andrew
Mira Handman & Allison Gallant
July 16, 2002 (2002-07-16)
SPF 30 infiltrates a campus prostitution ring and Notch pretends to be Kimberlee's boyfriend to fool her mother.
Jamaica finds out that Vinnie Fellachio is her father while Mrs. Strawther tries to have B.J. thrown out of SPF 30 for having a baby out of "gridlock".
38
10
"Empty the Dragon"
Tim Andrew
Mark Amato
August 20, 2002 (2002-08-20)
Notch Johnson wins a trip to Japan and has to face a giant chicken created by a professor's growth serum.
39
11
"The Long Hot Johnson"
Tim Andrew
Patrick Stack & Kal Zurnamer
August 27, 2002 (2002-08-27)
Notch and his crew go to the Bayou to stop the evil Bull Cracker from running people out of an African-American neighborhood rich with uranium.
40
12
"Taco Lips Now: Part 1"
Jack Murray
David Morgasen, Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
September 17, 2002 (2002-09-17)
Notch Johnson's life from his time in Vietnam comes back to haunt him when he's accused of war crimes. Also, Porcelain's husband "Snuggles" passes away.
Notch begins his prison term, Chip faces deportation and Kimberlee starts dating Notch's brother, Harry.
42
14
"Bad News, Mr. Johnson"
Tim Andrew
Story by : David Dipietro & Paul Ciancarelli Teleplay by : David Morgasen, Timothy Stack & James R. Stein
October 1, 2002 (2002-10-01)
Notch searches for Colonel Kooze to prove his innocence and must also find a way to stop Kimberlee's wedding to Harry.
Syndication
Reruns of the series began airing on the Viacom-owned Spike cable channel on November 7, 2010, eight years after its cancellation. It marks the first time the series has aired in the United States since.
Home media
Son of the Beach: Volume 1 was released on April 29, 2003, containing the first 21 episodes of the series (through Season 2 episode "A Tale of Two Johnsons"). The DVD also contains writer/director/cast commentary on select episodes, introductions by Timothy Stack as Notch Johnson, Too Hot for TV montages, behind the scenes featurettes, outtakes, and TV spots.
Son of the Beach: Volume 2 was released on November 11, 2008, and contains the remaining 21 episodes from the series, as well as bonus material such as new menu introductions by Timothy Stack as Notch Johnson, new behind-the-scenes footage, commentaries by the creators of the series, sexy montage highlights, cast audition tapes and a Son of the Beach table read.
