The Beverly Hillbillies is an American sitcom that aired on CBS from September 26, 1962, to March 23, 1971. Originally filmed in black and white for the first three seasons (1962–1965), the first color-filmed episode ("Admiral Jed Clampett") was aired on September 15, 1965, and all subsequent episodes from 1965 to 1971 were filmed in color. During its nine-season run, 274 episodes aired—106 in black-and-white, 168 in color. In its first two seasons, The Beverly Hillbillies was the No. 1 television program.[1]
All episodes in black-and-white
The pilot starts after the theme song when Jed struck oil in his Lake. A rural Ozark family relocates to Beverly Hills after oil is discovered on their property worth $25 million.
Elly May (Donna Douglas) brings a Geologist (Ron Hagerthy) back to the cabin. He tells Jed that there's oil on his land and he leaves for Tulsa. Later, Cousin Pearl (Bea Benaderet) and her son Jethro (Max Baer Jr.) arrive. Jed tells Pearl that a Mr. Brewster (Frank Wilcox) of the OK Oil Company offered to buy his land. Pearl tries to explain to Jed that he is now a rich man. She tells him that he should move to Beverly Hills. Mr. Brewster comes by and also says Beverly Hills would be a nice place to live. He could have a bank out there find a home for Jed. The family and Jethro drive out to California. Jed's $25 million has been deposited in the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills. Bank President Milburn Drysdale (Raymond Bailey) buys the mansion next to his for the Clampetts. The Clampetts arrive at their mansion. They mistake their new home for a prison and the groundskeepers for prisoners. The family is arrested because of a case of mistaken identity. After he realizes who they are, Drysdale has the family released from jail. Drysdale drives them back to the mansion, but still thinking it is a prison, the family runs away.
Also guest-starring Robert Osborne as Jeff Taylor.
Jed tells Jethro that he invited his mother Pearl and his sister Jethrine (Max Baer Jr., voiced by Linda Kaye Henning) to come for a visit. Granny believes Pearl is too busy trying to win over Mr. John Brewster to come and visit. Back in the hills, Pearl introduces Jethrine to John and keeps flirting with him. Granny wants to go home because folks are so unfriendly and no one has come to call. Jed wants to stay because Elly wore a dress today and he thinks Beverly Hills is good for her. Elly comes home with her dress all muddied up. She says because it was a ball gown, she went and played football with some boys. Back in the hills, John asks Pearl if she's going to visit Jed. Pearl, because she wants to stay with him, tells John she's so busy here. Wanting to find a man for Jethrine, Pearl asks John about the single men that are working for him. Jasper 'Jazzbo' Depew (Phil Gordon) drives up and starts talking to Jethrine. He wants to sell her a French Garter, but she misunderstands and carries him off. Jed convinces Granny that they should call on their neighbors. The first house they visit, Governess Agnes (Shirley Mitchell) invites them in. The Clampetts don't know it is Halloween and Agnes thinks they're trick or treating as hillbillies. She gives them some treats. Granny and Jed see the two children of the house in their costumes. They feel bad because the children are so ugly. The Clampetts visit several more homes and find that people welcome them and give them all manner of gifts.
The Clampetts get a letter from Pearl. She asks if Jethro is in school yet. Back in the hills, Pearl continues to pursue Mr. Brewster. She tells him that one of his employees, Jasper Depew, has made advances towards Jethrine. Brewster says he has no one with that name working for him. Jasper comes by, sings to Jethrine and she carrys him away. Back at the mansion, Jed says he needs to get Jethro in school. He hopes to enroll Jethro at an exclusive Beverly Hills elementary school. When the headmistress, Mrs. Millicent Schuyler-Potts (Eleanor Audley), sees Jed and Jethro, she thinks someone is playing a practical joke on her. And she also doesn't realize that Jethro is who Jed wants to enroll. Jed tells her he's a neighbor of Mr. Drysdale. After calling Drysdale, who holds the mortgage on the school, she finds out Jed is rich and she warms up to the idea of enrolling a Clampett boy. Millicent gives Jed a little boys uniform for Jethro to wear. There is a bit of a shock when Millicent comes by to pick up Jethro the next day and realizes who will be her new fifth grader.
The Clampetts plan to drive back to the cabin for Christmas. Drysdale arranges for them to take their first plane flight back home. They think the plane is a large bus. They're surprised when the plane leaves the ground. Meanwhile, back at in the hills, Homer Winch (Paul Winchell), a man who has desires for Pearl, comes to her house. He mentions that Mr. Brewster is at Jed's cabin. Pearl goes to see Brewster and cooks up a feast for him. She then proceeds to spruce up the cabin. Mr. Brewster insults Pearl when he asks her to be his housekeeper in Tulsa, while she thought it was going to be a proposal. She says she's going to visit Jed for Christmas and tell Jed how he misled her. The Clampetts are sleeping on the plane and the stewardesses start showing a cowboy film. They wake up and think they're on the ground chasing the cowboys. Drysdale calls Brewster and tells him he needs to keep Pearl there so as not to spoil Jed's Christmas surprise. Brewster goes to see Pearl and tries to keep her at home without leading her on. Just then the Clampetts show up. Everyone sings Christmas carols.
The Clampetts pack up to return to Beverly Hills. Jed tells Mr. Brewster that Pearl and Jethrine are coming with for a visit. Jed finds Elly saying goodbye to her critters. Meanwhile, Pearl finds that Jethrine has packed Jazzbo Depew in a large trunk to take with her. Jazzbo tries to explain to Jethrine that he can't leave his business now. Mr. Brewster comes by and thanks Pearl for breaking off their engagement. Back in Beverly Hills, Miss Jane dresses the vamp to meet Jethro at the airport. Drysdale welcomes the family at the airport. Jethro doesn't recognize Miss Jane and she pretends to be a Gypsy woman. At the mansion, Pearl annoys Granny with her talk about things needing cleaning around the place. Pearl does other things to annoy Granny. Jethro and Miss Jane arrive. The feuding starts between Granny and Pearl over who's running Granny's kitchen.
Rival banker Bill Hacker's (Charles Lane) bank will be competing against Drysdale's bank in a skeet shoot competition. Bill claims one of his employees is a crack shot. Drysdale isn't worried as his Vice President, Mr. Crandell, is a great shot as well. But then Drysdale learns Crandell is in the hospital with several broken bones. When Drysdale finds out about Jed's sharpshooting skills, he makes him bank vice president. Drysdale and Miss Jane take the Clampetts to the skeet shooting range to explain what to do. Milburn finds out that the rest of the family are excellent shots as well. After Hacker talks to Jed, he figures out Drysdale's scheme. Hacker demands that he be allowed to pick a different employee. Hacker sees Granny cleaning Jed's office and, assuming she is the cleaning lady, picks her. The only thing is, Granny is just as good a shot as Jed.
Drysdale wants to take Jed and Jethro to shoot some golf. Jed thinks they'll be hunting something called a golf. They'll also be with Los Angeles Dodgers coach Leo Durocher. They believe that he dodges the golfs. Meanwhile at the ball park, Leo is trying to sign pitcher Walsh Wesson. Jed and Jethro are at the golf course. Jed thinks the little white balls are golf eggs. Turns out Drysdale can't make it. Leo and Walsh think that Jed and Jethro are the caddies. A golf ball winds up in a tree a distance away. When Jethro knocks it out with a ball, Leo wants to sign him as a pitcher. Back at home, Jed tells Granny and Elly that Jethro is going to be a baseball player, even though they aren't sure what that is. Elly wants to be one as well. Leo and Buzzie Bavasi (Wally Cassell), the Dodgers General Manager, show up at the mansion. Jethro throws a ball at Leo and knocks him into the swimming pool. When he finds out that Jethro can only throw a ball that has possum fat on it, Leo is no longer interested in him.
James and Mabel Johnson (Murvyn Vye and Kathleen Freeman) back into the Clampetts' car outside of the Commerce Bank. They tell the Clampetts that no one was hurt. After they discover that the Clampetts are rich, they fake injuries and sue the Clampetts. During the trial, the Clampetts aren't used to court procedures. The Judge (Roy Roberts) makes allowances for that. Mabel enters the courtroom on crutches and James is in a wheelchair. James makes up a story that the Clampetts drove into them in a drunken stupor. Thinking the Johnsons are talking about someone else, Jed tells the Judge they'd be happy to track down those other people. The Judge explains to Jed that he and the family are the ones being accused. When things get out of hand in the courtroom, the Clampetts wind up in jail for a while. The Clampetts bring a bunch of their homemade food into the court. The Johnsons’ Attorney (Dean Harens) then questions the Clampetts. He keeps interrupting them when they try to say they didn't drive into the Johnsons. The Judge finally lets Jed have his say. The couple's story begins to sound made up to the Attorney. Things really unravel when Mabel learns about James' girlfriend.
Pearl comes to visit. She tells the family that Jethrine didn't marry the local undertaker. Jethrine eloped with Jasper Depew. Jethro needs a health certificate to graduate from the fifth grade. He goes to the only doctor the Clampetts know about - Mrs. Drysdale's psychiatrist, Dr. Eugene Twombly (Herbert Rudley). While talking to Twombly, Jethro falls asleep on the couch. The psychiatrist may have bitten off more than he can chew when he starts treating Jethro. Jethro returns home and says that all Twombly talked about was Jethro's mother. He would like to meet Pearl right away. Pearl would like to hook up with a wealthy Beverly Hills man. Pearl gets all dressed up and goes to see Twombly. She is a little surprised when Twombly closes the curtains and dims the office lights. She thinks he is testing her virtue when he tries to lay her on his couch. Pearl leaves. Later, Jed comes by to see Twombly and tells him he's upset that he made advances toward Pearl. Twombly tries to explain that he's a psychiatrist. Twombly comes to the mansion to apologize for the misunderstanding. Granny questions his doctoring skills. More confusing things happen and Twombly leaves.
Mrs. Drysdale (Harriet MacGibbon) recommends Elly for a high-brow finishing school for girls. Elly doesn't want to go and doesn't want to wear a dress. Mrs. Drysdale calls and tells Jed it is OK for Elly to wear her pants and shirt. Miss Jane learns from Margaret that she wants Elly to go to that school in hopes that humiliating her will drive the Clampetts away. Miss Jane tries to convince the girls at the school that Elly is a fashion trend-setter. She then brings Elly home and tells Jed and Granny that the girls at that school aren't good enough for Elly. Elly invites the filthy rich Cynthia Fenwick (Joanna Barnes) and her mother (Doris Packer) over for dinner, thinking they're destitute. Thinking blue jeans are now high fashion, Cynthia tries to find some. Mrs. Fenwick calls to say they will be late because they can't find clothes. Jed sends Jethro and Elly over with some of theirs. Jethro and Elly think the tiny gate house is where the Fenwicks live. When they tell Jed what they saw, Jed decides to bring the Fenwicks furniture and other things. Margaret sees them loading the truck and thinks the Clampetts are moving. Cynthia finds the clothes that Elly left in the gate house and her and her mother put them on. When Mrs. Fenwick sees herself in jeans, she faints.
Jethro decides he wants to go a courtin', so Jed gives him a little education. Jed sends Jethro to the bank with an envelope that Miss Jane needs. Meanwhile, Exotic dancer Chickadee Laverne (Barbara Nichols) comes by the bank to see Drysdale. She wants to be paid for her services at the Banker's Dinner Conference the night before. Jethro comes by and meets Chickadee. Thinking she's the one for him, he brings her home to meet the folks. At the mansion, there's some confusion between the family and Chickadee when the word engagement is used. Chickadee thinks she'll get a job at the mansion and the family thinks she's talking about marriage to Jethro. Granny and Jed think Chickadee is too old for Jethro. Jed talks to Chickadee in private and they have another confusing conversation. Elly tells Chickadee that she likes her. Elly would like her to marry Jed so she could be her mother. Chickadee likes Elly's pets and thinks she could use them in her act. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by and they find out Chickadee is there. Chickadee leaves with Elly's raccoon.
"Cousin" Jake and Opal are still living in the mansion. Jake thinks that with Jed's money, he can make a movie with Marlon Brando. Jethro would like to be in the movies. When Jed offers Jake 10 million, Jake agrees to put Jethro in the movie instead of Brando. Jake buys Jed a new car. Elly wants to be a movie star as well and Jake has Opal take her into town to get her made up. Granny still thinks Jake and Opal are a bunch of loafers. Elly returns all dressed up and glamorous and Jake introduces her a Venus Adore. Granny changes her opinion of Jake when he tells her he can put her in a Hoot Gibson movie. After seeing a Marlon Brando movie, Jethro dresses in leather and drives a motorcycle into the mansion. Mr. Drysdale learns from Jake that Jed is financing his movie and wants to put a stop to it. Jed thinks the others are starting to act and dress ridiculously. Miss Jane comes up with a plan to make the others see how foolish they look by having Jed act and dress just as foolish.
Granny is cooking up some lye soap and Jed is worried the fumes will bother Mrs. Drysdale. Margaret is having a garden party that afternoon and goes to talk to Granny about the smell. The fumes are also destroying her hibiscus plant. Jed and Granny misunderstand Margaret and believe they are invited to the party. And Granny thinks that a hibiscus is in the body and wants to doctor Margaret. Drysdale sends Miss Jane to talk to the Clampetts. Jed thinks that a garden party is when you help someone make a garden. Miss Jane tries to talk the Clampetts out of going to the party and tells them it has nothing to do with actual gardening. They still want to go. Miss Jane shows Drysdale the Clampetts all dressed up. The Clampetts arrive at the party with some of Granny's "rheumatism medicine" and some country cooking. Margaret talks them into taking their stuff back and waiting by their 'cement pond' to handle the 'overflow' from her party. After Granny shoots a fake alligator in the pond, the crowd from Margaret's party come over to see what happened. They start drinking the spiked punch and the people are having a great time. With all her guests at the Clampetts, Margaret finally comes over and joins them.
Jethro is trying to teach Duke to fetch, but is having no luck. Granny complains that because Elly has made all the animals her pets, there's nothing to cook. Jethro says that Mr. Drysdale mentioned a Beverly Caterers will bring food to you. Jed thinks it is a woman's name and that she does the cooking. Jed and Granny call Beverly Caterers, but the conversation doesn't go well. Meanwhile, Miss Jane tells Mr. Drysdale that his wife called and there's a kangaroo in their backyard. Drysdale knows that a banker friend sent it as a joke. He'll have the zoo come and get it. Granny sees a kangaroo and thinks it is an oversized jackrabbit. Jed thinks she's had too much moonshine. Whenever Granny tries to show the animal to Jed, it has moved somewhere else. Jethro tells Miss Jane how rude Beverly Caterers was and Drysdale calls them up. Granny and the kangaroo get into a fist fight. When she tells Jed about it, he asks her where she's hiding the moonshine. Bill Tinsman and Marian Billington from Beverly Caterers come by to apologize and things get a bit confusing.
Also guest-starring Arthur Gould-Porter as Ravenswood and Sharon Tate as Janet Trego.
Jethro is working in the hole that will be Granny's root cellar. He thinks he struck oil. Jed doesn't need more oil and they start to fill in the hole. Mr. Drysdale learns that Candy Davis (Susan Hart), one of the Commerce Bank secretaries, will be a contestant for Queen of Beverly Hills. When Margaret hears that the winner gets a trip around the world, she suggests Elly should run. That way the family would be gone for a while. Jethro tries digging in a different spot, but hits oil again. Milburn thinks the Clampetts are digging the hole to put their money in. He tells Granny about the advantages of the vault at the bank and Granny thinks he means to use as her root cellar. Miss Jane suggests to Jed that Elly run for Queen. The Clampetts think the race for the Queen is an actual foot race. So, Granny wants to run as well. Mr. Drysdale tries to talk Candy out of running, while Miss Jane gets Granny to not run. Robert Cummings, the Contest Announcer, names Candy and Elly as the finalists. Milburn states that Candy has withdrawn, but the bank will pay for a trip around the world for her. Miss Jane will take Candy's place in the contest. Elly states that she'd rather have Miss Jane win. Robert announces fellow judge Karen Crandall as the winner.
Jed wants to turn their newly acquired Beverly Hills dress boutique, The House of Renee, into a country store, The House of Granny. Jed and Jethro go to the store and because they don't have a key, Jed tries to pick the lock on the door. A Police Officer (Ray Kellogg) comes by and arrests them. Jed calls Granny from jail and tells her to get a hold of Mr. Drysdale. Drysdale winds up in jail with Jed and Jethro. Miss Jane gets the men out of jail. The Clampetts start adding country touches to their store. Granny wants to fire Doorman Maurice, but Jed lets him stay and he would like to design dresses. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by the store. Granny gives Drysdale a haircut. Granny is sad because there haven't been any customers. Jed decides to give the store to Maurice. Edna Skinner as Mrs. Wright, a customer.
Miss Jane comes by the mansion. She tells Jed and Granny that Drysdale has bought Mammoth Pictures, a movie studio, for Jed. Miss Jane is a little disappointed that Jed doesn't grasp the importance of what she said. The Clampetts drive to the studio. The Gate Guard (Ray Kellogg) won't let them in. Miss Jane tells Jed that she'll call Lawrence Chapman (Milton Frome), the head of the studio, and arrange a tour. At the studio Chapman introduces Jed to Sir Trevor Gielgud Burton-Guinness (John Abbott), a movie star. He's starring in the movie "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". Jed is startled because Trevor is made up and looks like Mr. Hyde. Chapman takes the family to a screening room. Jed, Granny, Elly and Jethro want to "help" the studio, which is losing money, by working at the studio. Chapman wants to make Jed happy so he decides to put Elly in the Dr. Jekyll movie and let Jethro think he's a producer. The Director (Russ Conway) explains the scene to Elly. Mr. Hyde grabs Elly and she throws him through a window.
Also guest-starring Alvy Moore as Alvin.
Jed tells Granny he's going to the movie studio to start making pictures. Drysdale tells Miss Jane that he wants to build a city on the location where Jed's movie studio is at. He wants to call it Clampett City. Elly suggests that Jed make a movie about her critters. When Jed goes outside he sees the truck full of animals. Jethro pretends to be a producer. He dresses up like one and is smoking a cigar. The cigar makes him sick and he can't drive Jed to the studio. Meanwhile, Lawrence Chapman is yelling at his producers, who are also his nephews, for not making a hit movie. Jed talks to Chapman on the phone and says he'd like to make a cowboy picture. Chapman wants to keep Jed happy and gives him an office and Miss Swenson as his secretary. Drysdale goes to see Jed and tells him about Clampett City. Jed would like to keep the studio and have everyone keep their jobs. Drysdale agrees to keep the studio for now and will start building a city on the back lot. The Clampetts mistake a western prop town for their city. A film is being shot not far away. Two actors (Phil Gordon and Elvia Allman) mistake Jed and Granny as extras for the film. A Cowboy Monster (Don Megowan) then shows up and Jed and Granny try to welcome him.
Drysdale shows Miss Jane a model of Clampett City. Miss Jane tells him that the Clampetts moved into the back lot town. The Clampetts are building their "general store" on their Western set. Jed hopes Elly will find a man at their store. Drysdale tells Lawrence Chapman that he wants the Clampetts out of the back lot. Chapman says that Jed owns the studio and can do whatever he wants. Drysdale tries to make Jed understand that the back lot is where he wants to start building the city. Jed likes it the way it is. Meanwhile, Drysdale makes sure that Jethro, Elly, and Granny are cast in a picture about Nero (Theo Marcuse) and Cleopatra. He hopes the movie will be a flop so he can tear down the studio. Drysdale is about to plow under the general store when Jed comes out. Chapman is directing the film and Jethro messes things up. The actor playing Nero wonders why Chapman cast Granny as Cleopatra. Jethro rides a chariot to the general store. Jed wonders why there have been no customers to the store yet. Chapman shoots a scene where Elly is to be fed to the lions, but she befriends the lion. Granny gets Nero drunk and Elly brings the lion to the store.
Announcer Bill Baldwin is in a helicopter over the Clampett mansion. He describes the place and talks about how Drysdale purchased Mammoth Studios for Jed. Drysdale says the studio is losing money. He wants to tear it down and build Clampett City. Baldwin then transfers to Famed Hollywood gossip columnist Hedda Hopper. She hopes to convince Jed not to allow the historic movie studio to be torn down. Baldwin is now flying over the western city back lot of the studio and says that Jed has dropped from sight. Baldwin doesn't know that the Clampetts are in the back lot. Granny still wonders why no one has moved into their city. Hedda Hopper drives into the city. Granny initially thinks Hedda's interest in Jed is romantic. Hedda would like to talk to Jed and Jethro drives her and Jed to see some Hollywood landmarks. Jed is surprised when he sees the footprints and signatures at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Drysdale and Miss Jane arrive at Clampett General Store hoping to stop Hedda from influencing Jed. Still at Grauman's, Jed is taking some cement and is filling in the footprints and signatures. A Policeman (Don Haggerty) comes by and stops Jed. Hedda straightens things out with the Policeman. Hedda persuades Jed to make films in the tradition of old. She becomes special guest at a screening of the Clampetts' first masterpiece, a silent film called "Little Orphan Elly". She changes her mind about saving the studio when she sees the film. Hedda goes back to Clampett General Store and bulldozes it down.
Note: In 1997, TV Guide ranked this episode No. 62 on its list of the 100 Greatest Episodes.[5]
Jed gets an honorary doctorate when he donates money to the college that Mr. Drysdale attended. The family thinks he can now practice medicine, which doesn't sit well with Granny. Granny has Jethro drive her to the college so she can buy a doctor's certificate as well. A Bus Driver (Cully Richards) is taking people on a tour and points out the Clampett mansion. The driver mentions that Jed owns Mammoth Pictures Studios. A Mother (Hazel Shermet) asks if they could stop at the mansion. She would like Jed to see her dancing daughter Beverly (Teena Marie). Jed thinks they are all there for medical help. Beverly performs for Jed and the Mother asks when he could cast her. Jed thinks she means something else and says Granny will do the casting. Meanwhile, Granny's at the Dean's office and she gives him $6 for a certificate. He thinks it is some fraternity prank. When Jethro says he isn't in a fraternity, the Dean calls for a psychiatrist. Granny comes home and tells Jed about all the tests she had to take. She sees Elly and Jethro dressed in medical clothes and says she wants no part of this doctoring. They also had some medical equipment sent over from the movie studio. When the Mother and Beverly come back, Granny agrees to help. A bunch of people come to audition and Jed thinks they are all there for medical help from Granny. There's a woman (Virginia Sale) who dresses like a bird. Then there's a fire eater and a Knife Thrower and many more.
Jed and Jethro go to the bank to tell Drysdale that Jethro would like to enlist in one of the armed forces. Drysdale thinks he should finish school first. Jethro then mentions he would like to be a "double naught spy" because of all the loving and fighting. Miss Jane tires to talk him out of it. Jethro now must decide which branch of service he will join. Jethro still wants to be a spy. Granny thinks he should join the Marines because they can feed Jethro all the fish at Marineland. Granny wants to go with Jethro when he goes to Marineland so she can have another chance to catch a whale. Jed thinks Jethro should decide for himself. Miss Jane comes by the mansion. To discourage Jethro from being a spy, she will give him a "spy test". The family heads to Marineland. They talk to the Marineland Manager (Robert Carson) and Jethro mistakenly volunteers to be a diver who feeds the fish. And while there, Granny wants another chance to catch a whale but is frightened away. Jethro comes by Jed in a heavy deep sea driver suit and a bucket of raw fish. Jed says a Marine has to fend for himself and Jethro should cook the fish and eat it. Elly plays with the dolphins. Granny lassos the whale and is pulled into the tank. The family leaves Marineland.
Pinckney goes to the bank and tells Drysdale that he can do no more with the Clampetts. He wants his money and he's leaving the country. Pinckney then proceeds to tell of the things that happened at the mansion. Arthur tries to teach the Clampetts how to play Cricket. They then show Arthur the live crickets that they caught. Arthur explains how he tried to get them to dress better. He gets Elly and Jethro to put on riding clothes and they then go riding in the truck. Arthur has Jed put on a country squires outfit. Granny puts on Jed's other set of squires clothes and complains they're too big. Arthur complains to Drysdale about the food Granny cooked up. Arthur explains that he tried leaving the mansion this morning. Granny thought he was trying to skip without paying his rent. Jed and Jethro catch him. Arthur later managed to escape and he came to the bank. Drysdale and Miss Jane bring Arthur back to the mansion to straighten things out. The Clampetts put Pinckney on trial for skipping out. After Drysdale gives Arthur $1000, he agrees to stay a week and help them around the house. That night, Arthur cooks the dinner. The Clampetts only enjoyed the food when they added their own ingredients to it. Arthur tries to serve them Crêpes Suzette. Jed puts the flame out with water and also gets Arthur all wet.
Jed is determined to start the new year off by making friends with Mrs. Drysdale. He sent Granny and Elly over with a gift. They find out that Margaret is in the hospital for a bad case of "nerves". Margaret threatens Milburn that she will stay in the hospital until he gets rid of the Clampetts. She even sent for Dr. Stuyvesant (Les Tremayne), a specialist from New York. Drysdale worries about what this will cost him. Meanwhile, Granny is whipping up some of her nerve tonic for Margaret. Margaret tells Stuyvesant about some of her first encounters with the Clampetts. She then tells him about Elly's pet animals. Stuyvesant is having a hard time believing everything that Margaret is saying. The Doctor leaves Margaret to rest and Jed and Jethro show up. Something the two do causes a tranquilized Margaret to slide out the hospital window. Stuyvesant thinks Margaret is hallucinating when she claims to have seen Jed and Jethro. Now the whole family comes to see Margaret and Elly has her raccoon. They move her bed by the window again. After they leave, Margaret slides out the window again. The family finds her and brings her back to the mansion.
Miss Jane tries to tell Drysdale that Margaret is not in the hospital and is missing. The Clampetts bring Margaret to the mansion and Granny starts making medicine for her. Mrs. Drysdale wakes up to find she is no longer in the hospital. The family explains that the hospital threw her out the window on a mattress. Margaret is very groggy and wants to leave. At the hospital, Drysdale confronts Dr. Sanders (Willis Bouchey), the Head of the Hospital, about Margaret's disappearance. Jed and Jethro sneak into the hospital to return the mattress. They run into Miss Jane and tell her that Margaret's at the mansion. Miss Jane tries to explain to Drysdale how Margaret wound up out the window. He doesn't believe it and lays on the mattress and slides out the window. He is brought back in with an injured foot. Miss Jane and Dr. Sanders go to get Margaret. Margaret tries to leave the mansion and Granny sedates her with nerve tonic. Miss Jane gets her out and they head back to the hospital. The Clampetts get into the hospital and Miss Jane tries to hide them. The family put on doctors scrubs. With the help of Granny's tonic, the Clampetts sneak both Drysdale and Margaret out again. Miss Jane and Sanders go to the mansion and see the Drysdales frolicking around the front.
Elly gets ready to go to the movie studio. Jethro asks Jed if he can produce Elly's movie. Granny is worried about Elly winding up with the wrong Hollywood crowd. She tries to give Elly some weapons to protect herself, but Jed stops her. Jed hopes Elly will meet some handsome movie stars. At the studio, Elly runs into Dash Riprock (Larry Pennell), the star of the movie. Dash doesn't know who she is and thinks she's just an extra. He's quite taken with Elly's beauty and practices a love scene with her by kissing her. Tom Kelly (Bill Quinn), of the studio, tells Dash to go and meet Elly at her dressing room. Tom doesn't know what Elly looks like. He also says to be nice to her because she is the owner's daughter. Drysdale and Miss Jane head to the studio. Miss Jane takes Elly to her dressing room and Drysdale goes to talk to Dash. Drysdale tells Dash to behave around Elly and not to make any moves on her. When Dash gets to Elly's dressing room, out comes Miss Jane. He now believes she is Elly May. Jed takes Granny to the studio to show her it isn't a den of sinners. Dash tells Drysdale that he can't work Elly, still thinking Miss Jane is Elly. Drysdale tells Dash he has to romance Elly. Reluctantly, Dash makes a play for Miss Jane.
Elly is down in the dumps after believing that Dash Riprock jilted her. He mistakenly thought Miss Jane was Elly. Dash was told by Tom Kelly, from the studio, to play up to Elly, so he went after Miss Jane. Jed and Granny can't figure out what Miss Jane has that Elly doesn't. At the bank, Dash apologizes to Drysdale for mistaking Miss Jane for Elly. Jed hopes to cheer Elly up by getting her a date with another actor. He calls Mr. Chapman at the studio and asks him to send someone over. Miss Jane tells Janet Trego that her and Dash are an item. Drysdale tells Dash to keep seeing Miss Jane until he can come up with a way for Dash to let her down gently. Jed tells Elly that Biff Steele is coming to see her. When Biff comes by the mansion he also mistakes Miss Jane for Elly. He relunctantly leaves with Miss Jane. Jed tells Granny that he figures those movie guys don't want to be with someone better looking than they are. Jed decides that the only way Elly can get a man is if she dresses like Miss Jane. Miss Jane tells Dash and Drysdale that she's been with Biff Steele. Dash pretends to leave in a fit of jealousy and goes to see Elly. Dash comes by the mansion and is surprised to see the way Elly is dressed. Biff arrives and brings Bolt Upright (Jack Bannon), Crunch Hardtack, Race Burley and Tab Strong.
Jethro can't find where he can go to join up to be a "double naught" spy. Granny wants to know to the penny what her share of Jed's money is. She'll then take it out of Drysdale's bank and put it in her mattress. Elly is teaching her dog Arnie tricks so she can enter him in Mrs. Drysdale's dog show. Granny calls Drysdale and tells him she wants her money in cash. At the bank, Miss Jane suggests to Drysdale that they show Granny how much space $1 million would take up. Hopefully, that will discourage her. Drysdale will get the money from the Federal Reserve on credit. Margaret comes by and says her poodle Claude has just come from the psychiatrist. Claude has a neurosis because Drysdale constantly rejects him. Jed and Granny come by and misunderstand when Drysdale wants Claude to stay out. They think Drysdale meant them and leave. The armored car with the money comes by the bank and Drysdale gets in and they head to the Clampetts. They get to the mansion and Granny shoots rock salt at the truck. Back at the bank, Drysdale tells Miss Jane that Granny took the money and wants the other $10 million. Margaret comes by and Claude is in worse shape because Drysdale said Elly could enter her dog. Granny is stuffing the money in her mattress. Drysdale and Miss Jane bring Claude to the mansion wanting Granny to doctor the dog. Elly is concerned that Claude doesn't know any tricks. She decides to help out by substituting Arnie for Claude at the show. She tries to make Arnie look like a poodle so Margaret will win the prize. When Margaret sees Arnie at the show, she faints.
Beatnik Sheldon Epps (Alan Reed, Jr.) brings some of his friends to the Clampett mansion. Sheldon asks Elly if Jed is around, but he's hunting. The rent is due on the beatniks coffee house and Sheldon wanted to get it from Jed. Drysdale owns the building that the coffee house is in and they decide to go talk to him. Meanwhile, Granny complains to Jed that all Jethro does now is walk around in the uniform that Countess Maria bought for him. At the bank, Drysdale tells Sheldon that he's doubling the rent and kicks them out of his office. Sheldon goes back to the Clampetts. Because they don't understand his hip lingo, Granny gives him a basket of actual bread, not money. Jed finally figures out what Sheldon wants and gives him a roll of money. He also asks if Jethro could work at the coffee house. Sheldon pays Drysdale and he wonders where Sheldon got the money. Jethro comes by the coffee house and the beatniks initially think he's some kind of mounted police because of his uniform. Beatnik Squirrel (Marianne Gaba) thinks Jethro's cute and she'll get him to become "cool". Jethro and the beatniks come to the mansion and Jethro shows off his new "threads". Elly wants to be a beatnik also. Elly, Jethro and the others are dancing at the club. Drysdale tells Miss Jane that he's turning off the power to the club. Jed and Granny come by the coffee house and just then the power goes out. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by and the place is still open. Jed found a way to light up the place. Drysdale finds out that Jed is the one sponsoring the beatniks. He and Miss Jane then start dancing with the others.
Beauregard Short (Robert Easton) is soon to arrive in Beverly Hills from back home. Granny thinks he's coming to ask Elly to marry him. Miss Jane comes by and Granny and Jed tell her how all the girls went crazy for Beau. Beau shows up and he's not the handsome man Miss Jane expected. Miss Jane goes to get Elly and she's made herself up to look ugly. Elly says she wants nothing to do with Beau. To turn Beau off, Miss Jane has Elly get all dolled up, because Beau is afraid of Hollywood sirens. The plan doesn't work because Beau likes the way Elly looks. Beau asks Granny if she thinks Elly really wants to get married. Elly tells Jed and Miss Jane that she never liked Beau and they agree to get Elly out of her problem. Jed tries to discourage Beau by giving him some of Elly's rock hard biscuits, but he likes them. Miss Jane tells Beau he would break so many hearts if he were to get married. So, Jethro decides to show him how to be like him, an international playboy. Jethro and Beau stand in front of Drysdale's bank trying to pick up women with no luck. Miss Jane talks the boys into going back to the bank and trying again. At the bank, Miss Jane has two secretaries pretend to fall for the boys. Jethro and Beau bring the ladies back to the mansion to go swimming. Jed calls Beau father, Luke, and finds out that the real reason Beau is in town is to be inducted into the Army.
Mrs. Drysdale hopes to get the Clampetts to move out and change the mansion into the Margaret Drysdale Art Center. Margaret talks Jed into the Art Center by saying that he would be pleasuring a lot of people and the city would do all the maintenance in the house. Jed does misunderstand something Margaret says and thinks she just wants the family to fill many of the rooms with artwork of their own. Meanwhile, Drysdale really likes the new doctor he's seen and is told he's in perfect health. Margaret needs to get Milburn out of town for a while so he doesn't know what she's doing to the Clampetts. She comes by the bank and convinces Drysdale that he's in poor health and needs a vacation. Jethro tells the family about different artists he learned about in school including "Mike Angelo". Elly will make mud sculptures and Jethro will get a rock and chisel a masterpiece. Jed and Granny will begin painting. Margaret goes to see George Engel (Walter Woolf King), the Fine Arts Chairman. A frail Drysdale goes to see the Clampetts to say goodbye before he leaves for Palm Springs. As he's leaving, Jed mentions the Art Center to Drysdale but it doesn't sink in. Elly sculpts a possum out of clay. Granny is painting daisies all over the house and Jethro brings home a massive rock. Jethro hires a beautiful model to pose for him. But he tells Jed he's sculpting a possum. Margaret and George come by the mansion and see all of the Clampett artwork. Jethro brings home another large rock, but it rolls off the truck and onto George's car.
All episodes from Season 4 onwards now filmed in color
Granny's fear of sharks makes her reluctant to go yachting with the rest of the family. At the mansion, Drysdale tells Miss Jane he would like Jed to buy a yacht and join a yacht club. There would be a lot of young men for Elly at the club. Jethro gets a yachting outfit for Jed, but he accidentally acquired an Admiral's uniform instead. The family heads off to meet Drysdale and Miss Jane at the yacht harbor, but mistakenly wind up at a Naval ship yard. Jed's uniform causes confusion when he boards a Navy ship he believes to be the yacht Drysdale wants him to buy. Jed tells the Lieutenant (David Frankham) he would like to take the ship out to sea. Meanwhile, Drysdale and Miss Jane are driving all over the yacht harbor looking for the Clampetts. They want to hire a Speedboat Operator (Ray Kellogg) to take them around the harbor, but he charges more than Drysdale wants to spend. Instead, Drysdale has Miss Jane row a little boat around. Jethro asks the Helmsman (Frank Coghlan Jr.) if he could steer the ship. After Jethro makes a wild turn, the Lieutenant puts the Helmsman back in charge. The Lieutenant then shows the family the fire power of the ship. Back at port, Jethro tells Jed how much it would cost to buy and maintain the boat. Jed tells the Lieutenant he'll pass on the boat and the Lieutenant thinks Jed means the ship passed the inspection.
Drysdale and Jed are going to be on TV and meet another oil millionaire, Sheik Ahmed (Dan Seymour), from an Arab kingdom. John Brewster's (Frank Wilcox) OK Oil Company is brokering a deal with the Sheik. The program goes off the air before Drysdale can make his speech. Back at the mansion, Jethro brings in 4 Harem Girls that are a gift to Jed from the Sheik. Jed wants Jethro to get a hold of Drysdale so he can return the girls. Drysdale and Brewster are worried about offending the Sheik. Ahmed arrives at the mansion and immediately falls for Elly. John tries to tell Ahmed that while Jed appreciates his gift, Jed has nothing of equal value to gift to him. The Sheik tries to make a deal for Elly, but Jed refuses. Without Jed knowing, Jethro makes a deal with the Sheik. At the bank, Drysdale calls Brewster and says that they could try and substitute Miss Jane for Elly. But when Drysdale sees Miss Jane in a Harem outfit, he changes his mind. Granny tells Jed that the Sheik made off with Elly, but Jed says he saw the Sheik by the swimming pool. It is really Jethro dressed as a sheik by the pool with the 4 Harem Girls. Jethro tells Jed about the deal he made with the Sheik for Elly. It is not long before Elly returns with the Sheik locked in the trunk of his car.
Jethro is anxious to become a "Double Naught" spy but doesn't know where to join up. Jed suggests he open an office in town. To keep Jed happy, Drysdale gives Jethro an office at the bank. Drysdale mentions that Jethro's office is directly over the bank vault. Jed tells Jethro that Elly will be his secretary. Vincent Baker (Donald Curtis), the man who was to originally get Jethro's office, arrives at the bank. Miss Jane tries to explain to Vincent about Jethro. What Miss Jane doesn't know is that Vincent is planning on breaking into the vault. Kaye Martin (Eileen O'Neill), Vince's partner, is worried about Jethro ruining their plan. Vincent tells Elly that he's from the London Spy Headquarters. Vincent hopes to con an unwitting Jethro into helping him get into the vault. Jethro's clumsiness, however, proves to be the robber's undoing.
The Clampetts will be heading back to the hills for Possum Day. Granny wants to run for the title of Possum Queen. Mrs. Drysdale comes by as she will be taking care of the mansion while the family is away. The Clampetts are surprised that there is no Possum Day in Beverly Hills. After they get in the truck and drive away, Margaret puts up a For Sale sign. Drysdale comes back from a trip early and sees what Margaret is up to. He finds out that the Clampetts were going to the hills. When he gets to the bank, Jed and Granny are there to say goodbye. Drysdale tells them that there will be a huge Possum Day celebration here in town. The family decides to stay. Granny thinks that Margaret was willing for them to leave town so she could be Possum Queen. After a call from Jed, Drysdale "volunteers" his wife as Granny's challenger for the title. Problems arise when Miss Jane tells Drysdale that the city will not hold the Possum festival. Drysdale goes to city hall and has no luck changing their minds. He then tries to pitch the idea of the festival to other cities, but gets nowhere. Granny starts campaigning for Possum Queen.
Granny and Jed wonder why Mrs. Drysdale hasn't started campaigning for Possum Queen. Drysdale is still having no luck finding a town to hold the Possum Day festival. Miss Jane thinks he should just tell the Clampeets the truth while there's still time for them to go back to the hills. Unbeknownst to Margaret, Drysdale starts to run a campaign for her against Granny. Drysdale buys some radio time and plays an edited tape of Margaret insulting Granny. Granny is furious. The Clampetts hold a campaign rally in the bank's parking lot. Margaret drives up. When she gets out of her limousine, she sees the Possum Queen signs on the doors of her car that Drysdale put on there. The next day, Drysdale comes to the bank and tells Miss Jane he found no town to hold the festival. Granny thinks that Margaret really wants to be Possum Queen. She tells Jed she's withdrawing from the race. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by the mansion. Drysdale is about to tell the Clampetts the truth about the festival. When Granny says that she's not even going into town to see the festival, Drysdale pretends it is still happening.
Mr. Lowell Farquar (Charlie Ruggles), Margaret's father, comes for a visit. When he's alone with Drysdale, he reveals he's broke. It seems on his way over, he passed through Las Vegas and lost his whole fortune. Lowell asks Drysdale for a handout, which Milburn refuses. Margaret warns her Father about the Clampetts, but then she mentions the millions they have. Lowell hopes to get some of their money so he can go back to Las Vegas. Jethro carries Lowell over to the mansion. Hoping to win some money, Lowell teaches Jed and Granny how to play poker, but Granny keeps winning. Lowell then teaches Jed how to play pool and Jed becomes quite good at it. Drysdale comes over worried that Lowell has taken the Clampetts money. He is relieved to see that didn't happen.
Jethro now wants to be a five-star General and wants to go to West Point. Drysdale decides the safest idea is to get him into Havenhurst, a local boys military academy. Drysdale tells Jed and Jethro that he'll set things up and sends Miss Jane to get it done. Granny thinks that Jethro has had enough schooling. Miss Jane has no luck at the academy so Drysdale goes. At the school, Colonel G. T. Hollis (John Hoyt) speaks with a young Captain Hogan about the upcoming war games with rival academy Lexington. Hollis tells Drysdale that he wants to personally interview Jethro, thinking he's a young boy. Drysdale has Jethro dress as a little school boy. Hollis discovers that the Clampett estate is adjacent to the upcoming war game site. As they have lost to Lexington 9 years in a row, Hollis believes using Jed's land would give him a tactical advantage. He lets Jethro join. Elly is looking forward to meeting Jethro's military guys, thinking they will be older. Jed and Granny see all the young boys and learn that they will defend Beverly Hills from the Lexington Army. This mock battle has Granny and Jed confused.
Granny tells Jed that she has seen signs that Elly will soon be married. Jed doesn't hold much stock in Granny's signs. Jethro tells Jed and Granny that Sonny Drysdale (Louis Nye) is coming home from school. Granny thinks that's who Elly is going to marry. Drysdale tells Miss Jane that Sonny's been going to school for 19 years and is still a sophomore. Drysdale wants Sonny to get a job and get married, preferably to Elly. Drysdale arranges a job for Sonny as a door to door beauty product salesman. Sonny has been to 5 houses and not sold a thing. His sixth stop is at the Clampetts and Elly mistakes his merchandise for courting gifts. Sonny thinks Elly is going to buy all the products. Drysdale is thrilled when he thinks Sonny has made a huge sale. After speaking with Jed, Drysdale figures out that Elly thought all the products were gifts. Drysdale forces Sonny to propose to Elly, but Elly says no.
Jed tells Miss Jane that Granny and Elly are heading back to the hills to deliver a baby. They're waiting for Jethro to drive them to the train. Jethro brings home some girls from the Kit Kat Club so he won't be lonely. Jed then decides all four of them will go back to the hills. Drysdale is frantic to stop them so he tries to come up with an employee who is going to have a baby. He then remembers that the Brewsters (Frank Wilcox and Lisa Seagram) are having a baby that Granny can deliver, knowing they plan to adopt. Drysdale is able to stop the Clampetts from leaving. He tells the Brewsters that Granny will be their baby nurse. Meanwhile, Jethro wants to turn the mansion into his own key club, The Possum Pen. John Brewster tries to tell Jed that his wife Edythe won't need Granny's help. Jed misunderstands and thinks Edythe will deliver the baby by herself. The Brewsters try to explain to Granny about the adoption, but Granny believes that the Brewsters think they are going to a baby store to buy a baby. Later, the Brewsters come by with their baby, John Jr.
Jethro is bent on becoming an astronaut and getting all the glory. He attaches some rockets to his back and has wings on his arms. Jed stops the rockets from igniting. Jed wants to get Miss Jane's opinion. Drysdale tells Jed that Miss Jane no longer works for him. Drysdale fails at an attempt to get Miss Jane to return to work. Jed sends Elly to be Drysdale's secretary. Elly brings along a bunch of her critters. Things don't go well when Jethro tries his rockets again. Miss Jane tells Jethro he could get more glory being a folk singer. Along the way Jethro invents a new musical device he dubs the Bodine O'Phone. After seeing Jethro with his new instrument, musical agent Kingsley Sherman (Tom D'Andrea) suggests that newly-unemployed Miss Jane team up with Jethro. With a couple wigs and goofy clothes, Kingsley thinks they can be a hit.
Dash is still dating Elly. Jethro decides to get a job as an actor. Not knowing what's involved, Jethro is going to be Dash's stunt double and he'll call himself Beef Jerky. Jed and Granny worry that Jethro might take Dash's job away from him. Debbie Haber comes to the bank and is upset with Drysdale because he set Dash up with Elly. Dash had promised Debbie a screen test. Drysdale tells her that Jethro's uncle owns the studio. At the studio, Debbie plays up to Jethro so she can get to Jed and he thinks he has a sweetheart. Phil Gordon (Pat Harrington Jr.), the Director, sets up Jethro's first stunt. Jethro is having a rough time with all the dangerous stunts. Jethro comes home all worn and tatered and doesn't want to be a movie star anymore. Debbie comes by the mansion and has a confusing conversation with Jed. Dash arrives and sends Debbie to the studio.
Jethro is trying to mix up a batch of love potion, but it doesn't go well. Jed thinks Jethro needs to go back to school to get his mind off girls. Jed and Jethro ask Drysdale to recommend a college. Drysdale, believing Jethro could never get a college degree, promises him a job at the bank if he got one. Miss Pringle (Hope Summers) informs Mrs. Frisby (Louise Lorimer), the Dean of Frisby Business Secretarial college, that the school is going broke. Jethro comes by with a lot of money that Jed gave him and Dean Frisby enroles him. Not knowing what it is, Elly wants to attend a College of Judo and Karate. Jethro goes to his first class and is thrilled to see all the other students are women. Dean Frisby can only take so much of Jethro and she gives him a diploma. Jed tells Drysdale that Jethro graduated and sends him to the bank for his job. Elly is disappointed with her first day at college. She tells Granny that all they did was throw each other around and she got a black belt. Hoshu Fujiyama, from the Judo college, comes to the mansion and Granny throws him around. At his new bank job, Jethro hires all his classmates.
In an attempt to attract suitors for Elly, Granny enters some of her own soup in a contest under Elly's name. Elly wins the contest and Granny tries to convince Jed to let her go on TV. Jed thinks it would be dishonest to let her win using Granny's soup. Jed wants Granny to call the soup company. She pretends to call the company, but she actually calls Drysdale at the bank. Stafford Clark (Gavin Gordon), the head of the soup company and Roger Dickerback (Stephen Dunne), a representative of the advertising agency come by the mansion. When Granny says that Elly is very young, the men then want to get Jed's signature allowing her to go on TV. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by and Granny wants him to pretend to be Jed and sign the papers. To appease Granny, Drysdale gets Miss Jane to dress up as Jed to sign the papers. After the men leave, Jed comes home and sees Miss Jane. Things get explained to Jed and Granny winds up doing the TV spot. But Granny manages to get Elly, who is wearing a bathing suit, on camera.
Also guest-starring Steve Pendleton as TV Director.
Granny's soap making sends noxious smoke into the air. Thanks to Mrs. Drysdale, this gets the attention of smog commissioner Russell Tinsley (Paul Reed). Tinsley sends a letter to Granny telling her to stop. Thinking there might be a feud, Jethro turns the truck into a tank. When Tinsley comes by the house to check on things, Granny chases him away. Tinsley tells Drysdale that if Granny doesn't stop soap making, he'll throw the Clampetts in jail. Jed decides to run against Tinsley in an upcoming election when he misunderstands Miss Jane's advice. The Clampetts start campaigning in front of the bank. The Drysdales suggests they hold a rally at their mansion. Tinsley gets upset when Granny tries to trap him in Jethro's tank. Jethro's attempt at letting people know about the rally by sky writing fails. Drysdale sets up a debate on TV between Jed and Tinsley. Jethro claims to have invented a small device to remove smog from cars. Believing the device works, Tinsley agrees to leave Granny alone and Jed drops out of the race. Then Tinsley sees the giant filter that goes along with the device.
Jed wants to make himself useful by becoming a garbage collector. Drysdale, fearing potential embarrassment, asks John Brewster (Frank Wilcox) to put Jed to work on the board of directors of O.K. Oil Company. Brewster thinks Jed should be on the bank's board. Drysdale pulls a fast one and Jed will be on Brewster's board. Board Member E. W. Brachner (Barry Kelley) is against the idea until he hears how much money Jed has. Jed wants to help Brewster get more oil and remembers the oil they found when Jethro was digging up a root cellar. Brewster discovers that oil losses in a Beverly Hills section of a pipeline are due to the Clampetts accidentally tapping the line. Miss Jane suggests they put the Clampetts on the company's airplane while Brewster gets the pipeline repaired. When they get home, they discover their "oil well" has dried up. Jed would to think of another way to get Brewster more money. Jed decides to use the company's airplane to start an airline service, complete with wooden benches and ropes for seat belts. Jethro will take over the Co-pilot's (Jack Grinnage) job. Granny is the stewardess and serves up some of her moonshine.
Jethro has a job as a paperboy. He causes some problems when he attaches the papers to roofing slates so he can throw them further. Jed shows Granny a newspaper article that says Gloria Swanson is selling her estate and many of her possessions. She will be moving east. The property will be made into a golf course. They think that she's broke and that she's being forced to do this. What the Clampetts don't know is that Gloria wants to move and Drysdale is in on this venture. Plus the proceeds of the items that are sold at auction will be donated to charity. They go to see her and hope to lift up her spirits. They try to stop Mr. Foley (George N. Neise), who is in charge of the auction, from taking things out of the house. After they meet Gloria, they tell her that her movies are still being shown in their hometown. Jed decides to ask Lawrence Chapman (Milton Frome), who runs his movie studio, to make a silent movie with Swanson and the Clampetts in it. The film is called "Passion's Plaything" and premieres at the Bijou Theater in Bugtussle.
Jethro is so desperate to meet a woman that he wants to mail himself to Paris. Miss Jane comes by the mansion with her bird watching group. Miss Jane introduces Athena Armstrong (Nancy Dow) to Jed and Granny. The women go back by the pool, where Jethro happens to be. Jethro sees the attractive Athena and tries to get her attention, but it doesn't work. Jethro wants to join the Biddle Birdwatchers even though they don't allow men. Mr. Drysdale suggests to Jed that Jethro to join the Woodchucks. Jethro isn't interested until he sees the women all gathered around head Woodchuck Stanley Kragleman. Stanley explains to Jethro about his achievement awards. Drysdale tells Jethro that he's invited the birdwatchers to his initiation later that day. The initiation is interrupted by one of Jethro's achievement award attempts and it involved him making an ant farm. Jethro is finally made a Woodchuck.
Christmas is almost here but Granny can't get into the holiday spirit. Jed suggests that "giving" to someone might cheer her up. Jed thinks Mrs. Drysdale should be the person. Meanwhile, Margaret asks Milburn to send the Clampetts away for Christmas. Margaret is selling her old clothes for charity. Granny wants to use her mind-reading potion to figure out what to get Margaret. Margaret tries to talk the Clampetts into flying back to the hills for Christmas. The Clampetts think that the Drysdales are broke because Jethro tells them Margaret is selling all of her good clothes. They want to buy them back for her as a Christmas present. They can't get money out of the bank because Mr. Drysdale would find out. So to keep it a secret, the Clampetts take seasonal jobs in a department store. Jethro is the store Santa and Elly is an elf. Jed is in sporting goods. Granny is in the Lingerie Department. Margaret comes by the department and thinking she can't afford the items, Granny just puts them in her purse. A woman thanks the Store Manager (James Millhollin) for hiring the Santa because he does so well with the kids. It is as if he had the mind of a child. Mrs. Drysdale gets arrested for shoplifting. The Drysdales and Miss Jane go to the Clampetts for Christmas.
Granny misinterprets a phone call from Cousin Pearl and believes Indians have attacked Bug Tussle and have taken over Clampett oil land. Miss Jane tells Drysdale that Mr. Brewster called. It seems there's a boundary dispute and the Indians are claiming part of Jed's land. Miss Jane says that Chief Running Wolf and Little Fox (John Considine) will travel to Beverly Hills to settle the dispute with Jed. Granny prepares for war and expects to be scalped by the "red devils". Miss Jane picks the men up and they look like everyday businessmen. They arrive at the bank and Drysdale is dressed as an Indian and acts very stereotypical. Running Wolf and Little Fox go to meet with Jed at their hotel. Still dressed as an Indian, Drysdale goes to the Clampett mansion and Granny shoots at him. Drysdale calls Chapman at the movie studio and tells him to send some actors dressed as Indians to the mansion. He hopes Granny will believe she fought them off and not go back to the hills to fight them. Meanwhile, Jed and Running Wolf come to an understanding. The actors arrive and Drysdale finds a way to have Granny drive them off.
Jethro and Elly tell Jed that King Alexander of Sabalia (Jacques Bergerac) will be visiting the Drysdales. At the bank, Miss Jane thinks Alexander may make a good companion for Elly. Believing Alexander has a lot of money, Drysdale likes the idea. Alexander, who is actually in need of money, works as a busboy on a yacht. The currency of Sabalia is totally worthless. Drysdale, still thinking he is rich, takes Alex to meet Elly. Alex at first thinks Granny is Elly, but then he meets her. Jethro comes by in a uniform he got from the movie studio. Meanwhile, Mrs. Drysdale intends on setting the King up with her recently divorced niece Doreen (Victoria Carroll). Doreen mistakes uniformed Jethro for the King. It is not long before she's unimpressed with him. Drysdale finds out the King is broke. Elly is also unimpressed with Alexander and turns down his marriage proposal.
Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs visit the Clampetts while Lester's wife, Gladys (Joi Lansing), heads to Mammoth Studios for a screen test. She wants to go by the stage name Gladys Delovely. Lester hopes to sabotage Gladys' chances to do well by having Jethro direct her. Gladys is quite surprised when she sees Jethro. Jethro lets it slip that it was Lester's idea. Despite Jethro being there, the test goes well. Official word won't come for 3 days while the film is being processed. Lester hopes three days in the Clampetts' cabin will discourage her. But Gladys is on to his plan and is determined to beat him at his own game. She pretends to enjoy living the country life. Gladys has Lester chopping wood and shucking corn til he's worn out. Miss Jane tells Gladys that the film turned out great and they have a contract ready for her to sign. In the end, Gladys changes her mind about being a star.
Mrs. Drysdale accuses Granny of theft when she finds Granny with a piece of lumber of hers. It was actually Elly's chimpanzee that took it. Margaret accidentally knocks Granny into the pool. Granny wants to start a feud with Margaret. Drysdale wants Margaret to stop fighting with Granny. The lumber was to frame her new dahlia flower bed. Mrs. Drysdale hired gardener Mr. Ted (Ted Cassidy) to help her raise her dahlias. More of her garden supplies go missing. Margaret finds Granny with the missing shovel. Granny winds up in the pool again. Jed calls Drysdale and warns him that Granny's mad. Miss Jane discovers it was Elly's Chimp taking the things and tells Margaret. Granny runs into Mr. Ted and she tells Jed what a large man he is. Granny thinks he has been hired to kill the Clampetts. Drysdale tells Margaret that she should name her 4 dahlia beds after each of the Clampetts. Granny sees the 4 holes in the ground and the markers with their names. Granny begs Mrs. Drysdale and Mr. Ted to bury her and spare the others. They explain to her that the holes in the ground are dahlia beds and not graves.
The Clampetts are on the plane for England to check out their new castle. Jethro tells the Stewardess that the family is royalty and she just plays along. They stop first in San Francisco, where Jethro, thinking they are in England, points out all of the London landmarks. The Cab Driver (Larry J. Blake) has to explain to Jethro where they really are. Back on the plane, Jethro, the Royal Taster, insists on sampling the airline's food before it is served to Jed. Once they land in England, Cedric Giles-Evans (Ernest Clark), a lawyer representing the estate, meets the family. They have a confusing conversation about Jed's late cousin Marcus. Granny gets upset when her medical supplies and her jug of moonshine are impounded by Customs. Jethro and Elly try to see the Queen. Jed and Granny head to a chemist's shop to replace her medical supplies. The elderly chemist (Alan Napier) doesn't understand what Granny wants and begins to quote Shakespeare's Sonnets. Granny thinks he's courting her. The Chauffeur (John Barron) takes Jethro and Elly to Buckingham Palace. When Jethro and Elly return they all head off for their castle.
The Clampetts finally arrive at Jed's castle. They are met by John Faversham (Richard Caldicot), the Head of the castle staff. Granny and Jed still don't understand that cousin Marcus has passed away. Granny goes to doctor Marcus. Meanwhile Jethro starts fulfilling his duty as a knight in shining armor and wants to start hunting for dragons. He wants Elly to be a damsel in distress. Jethro goes riding on a horse, but it is not long before he's knocked off. Granny believes that a dog has eaten Marcus. Drysdale arrives in town and meets up with Cedric Giles-Evans to discuss the estate. Cedric gets a call from Faversham about confusion at the castle. Drysdale heads to the castle. Elly is up in a tower of the castle yelling for help, hoping a handsome knight will come. Jethro is still riding horseback around the grounds and keeps getting knocked off. Granny tells Jed about the dog, but he has a hard time believing it. Drysdale arrives at the castle.
Jethro and Elly are still pretending to be Robin Hood and Maid Marian in Griffith Park. Buddy brings a large group of Hippies to the park to follow their new leader Jethro. Meanwhile, Drysdale suggests to Jed that he turn his castle into a car wash. Jed, Granny, Drysdale and Miss Jane go searching for Jethro and Elly. Dysdale is captured by Jethro and is first made to wear hippie clothes. Then he is given Robin Hood clothes. Jethro and the Hippies go searching for crawdads. Drysdale is later confronted by two park policemen, Fred and Tony (Victor French), who think he's crazy. Jed finds Elly feeding a baby deer. Granny runs into Drysdale and the policemen. After she mentions smoking crawdads, the policemen grab a hold of her. When the hippies find out what crawdads really are, they decide to leave Jethro and the forest. The policemen see the Hippies running by and go after them, leaving Granny.
Miss Jane calls Jed asking if Granny and Elly are back from the hills yet. Drysdale is released from jail after being arrested for the tank incident in the park. Back at the bank he finds out his picture is on the front of the newspaper. Jethro brings Granny and Elly back from the airport in his tank. Drysdale and Miss Jane come by the mansion. Drysdale tells Granny that Jethro will have to take a physical for the Army. Granny decides to give him the physical and it doesn't go well for Jethro. Jethro reports to the induction center and sees Colonel Stark (Paul Reed). Because of Granny's physical, Jethro is limping and he can't hear. An Army Psychiatrist (King Donovan) tells Stark that he thinks Jethro is a genius in the way he pretends to be crazy to avoid military service. Stark says that Drysdale personally recommended Jethro. The Psychiatrist shows Stark the picture of Drysdale in the paper dressed as a German general. Jethro brings the family to see Stark. Things get a little confusing, but the Psychiatrist still thinks Jethro is a genius. They'd like to find him a place in Army Intelligence.
While heading to the Clampetts for Jethro's farewell breakfast, Drysdale tells Miss Jane more about his Money Man Comic books. At the breakfast, everyone gives Jethro a present. Granny gives him an ancestor's Confederate Army uniform. Granny forces Jethro to wear the uniform when he heads down to the Army Reserves Headquarters. Colonel Blake (Lyle Talbot) thinks Jethro's an actor there to participate in a Civil War reenactment. Blake is a technical advisor for the reenactment. Blake tells Jethro that he'll be fighting Union soldiers. Jethro runs home to tell Granny the Civil War is starting up again. Granny prepares to help with the fight. She gets dressed up to seduce some Yankees and get some information. She and Elly go to the Reserves Headquarters to do some spying. Granny overhears Blake talking to the men portraying General Grant (William Mims) and Col. Chittlen (Harry Fleer) about battle plans. At home Granny tells Jed that General Grant is still alive.
Granny still believes that General Grant is alive. Jed asks her why would Grant start a war in Beverly Hills. Meanwhile at the Army Reserves Headquarters, the actor playing Grant is very hung over. The producer of the Civil War movie wants Col. Blake to direct the battle scene. Blake and Grant get to the location where the filming will start. Blake is told the bus bringing the Confederate soldiers broke down and they are walking the rest of the way. Granny, Jethro and Elly are driving by and see the soldiers. Dressed in Confederate uniforms, "General" Drysdale and "Private" Hathaway arrive at the Clampett mansion. They are doing this to make Granny feel better, they don't know about the reenactment. During the filming, Grant keeps falling off his horse. When they get to the location, Drysdale is surprised when he hears the gunfire. Granny, Jethro and Elly come up to where all the fighting is. Granny wounds the actor playing Grant by shooting him with some of Ellie's cookies. Granny then has to cure him with her "rheumatism medicine". Grant and Granny discover they have something in common after all. Miss Jane calls Jed and tells him they found out it was just a movie shoot. Jed doesn't want to ruin things by telling Granny. Granny and Grant come to the mansion drunk.
Granny's been in a bad mood lately. The family puts up the cabin to cheer her up. After Mrs. Drysdale complains to Granny about her cabin, they have a physical brawl. Jed tries explaining to Granny that womenfolk in the city don't settle their differences through violence. Jethro says "Yes they do" and tells them about the women wrestlers on TV. That night the family watches as "The Boston Strong Girl" enters the ring. The Strong Girl is to wrestle the sweet country girl, "Rebecca of Donnybrook Farm". When the Strong Girl beats up on Rebecca, Granny believes the wrestling is real and gets upset. Drysdale and Miss Jane are watching the match as well at his house. While Jed is signing some papers for Miss Jane, Jethro and Granny leave the room. Granny decides to rescue Rebecca. As Jed and Elly are still watching the program, they witness Granny jump into the ring and teach the Boston Strong Girl to not beat up on a Tennessee girl.
Jethro has set up the truck to be an ambulance. Granny is sad because she has no one to doctor. Miss Jane tells Elly about a soap opera she's going to watch with a character named Dr. Rex Goodbody (John Dehner). Elly mentions Goodbody to Granny. Granny and Jethro arrive at the bank and see the TV show. Granny confuses the soap opera with real life and decides her doctoring can save Dr. Rex Goodbody from a serious operation. Drysdale believes Granny is just a big fan of Goodbody's and tells her he lives near her. She tries to see him, but no one answers the door. Drysdale has Goodbody come by the bank. Drysdale tells him he's being written off the show and coerces him into visiting Granny. Goodbody arrives at the mansion and Granny thinks he wants her medical advice. Goodbody makes a play for Granny and her money. That doesn't go well and Granny chases him out of the house. Goodbody is making his last appearance on the show and the Clampetts arrive to save him.
Jed is upset with Elly because she's washing all her dogs in the pool. He thinks she has too many critters. When Granny calls for the family to come and eat, all the dog run to her and knock her down. Granny is on the warpath and declares either the dogs go or she does. Meanwhile, Drysdale is equally irritated by the expense of his wife's poodle. Jed tells Elly he'll try and talk Granny into keeping the dogs. The dogs melt Granny's heart and she lets them stay. Elly brings home even more dogs from the pet shop. They run into the house and knock Granny down. Granny again wants the critters gone. Elly brings the dogs to the bank and Drysdale jokingly says they could stay in his office. Elly lets the dogs run into the office. Jethro sees Ilse walking Mrs. Drysdale's dog in front of the bank. Drysdale and Miss Jane come to the mansion and tell Jed about the dogs at the bank. Jethro and Ilse give Mrs. Drysdale's dog a haircut, which she actually likes. Once again the dogs melt Granny's heart and they can stay.
Granny is cooking a special meal for Cousin Roy (Roy Clark), who is coming from the hills for a visit. Granny likes Roy, but she is not fond of his mother, Myrtle Halsey. Roy arrives and apparently he's in town to open up a distribution point for Mother Myrtle's Tonic. Granny isn't very keen on any competition against her own tonic, especially from Myrtle. Myrtle calls and asks Jed to help Roy set up his business. Jed recommends Roy talk to Drysdale. Jethro is not thrilled about the idea of double dating with Roy. Hoping he'll get in trouble, Jethro suggests that Roy set up a stand outside of the Commerce Bank. A large crowd gathers around. When a Policeman (Peter Leeds) comes by to check things out, he recognizes Mother Myrtle's tonic as he is from the hills as well. Meanwhile, believing she is a wealthy business owner, Drysdale flies Myrtle in to visit Granny. Granny and Jethro set up a stand outside the bank and a crowd gathers. The same Policeman comes by. He mentions that he had some of Myrtle's Tonic. Jethro holds him and Granny forces him to drink her tonic. The two get arrested. Drysdale has them bailed out and Myrtle arrives at the mansion dressed as a young woman.
Also guest-starring Phil Arnold as Maintenance Man.
Drysdale and Miss Jane come by the mansion and tell the Clampetts they now have $80 million. The family doesn't seem excited. Jed feels that taking care of his money has been a burden on Drysdale. To make things easier for Drysdale, Granny suggests burying the money in the backyard. Jethro says they should give the money to England because they're broke. He heard on the radio that the city of Philadelphia bought Queen Elizabeth. Jed calls John Faversham (Richard Caldicot) at Jed's castle in England. Faversham says that it was ships that were sold. Jed still misunderstands and thinks England is in need of money. Jed tells Drysdale that he's taking his money out of the bank and Drysdale faints. Drysdale hires British actor Montrose (Alan Mowbray) to try and talk the Clampetts out of giving their money away. When Montrose learns how much money Jed has, he comes up with a scam to have Jed buy Canada for the Queen, saying that that would help her much more.
Jethro smuggles Ellie's turkey buzzard on the plane to England, hoping to use it to hunt oafs. Jethro tells the Stewardess that they own Canada and will give the deed to the Queen. Drysdale and Miss Jane board the plane. The turkey buzzard causes problems for Drysdale and a fellow passenger (Dick Wesson). Granny tells Miss Jane that she thinks Drysdale is acting strangely because he stuck his head outside the plane's window and got hit in the head by a goose. They finally land in England. Drysdale tells Jethro that he'll get the bird through customs, knowing that they'll quarantine it. There is some confusion between the Customs Inspector and Drysdale and Granny. The Clampetts had their truck shipped over and they go to Buckingham Palace. They hope to meet with the Queen to give her the deed to Canada. Drysdale meets them there and tells them it might take a few days to get an audience with the Queen. The Clampetts then go to their castle where Granny would like to reignite a year-old feud with the neighboring castle. Their butler Faversham tries to assure Granny that will be no trouble with the neighbors. But when Granny hears a cannon fired from next door, she believes their "War of the Roses" has begun.
Jethro challenges Colonel Dumbarton (William Kendall) from the neighboring castle to a "War of the Roses". The Colonel remembers Jethro as the knight who rode through his rose bushes the year before and accepts. Drysdale calls Jed from his hotel. He tells Jed that he pulled some strings and Queen Elizabeth I will come to see him. Jethro plans to catapult himself into Dumbarton's castle. Elly goes along to hopefully meet a handsome knight. Elly cuts the rope and Jethro goes flying over the castle wall. Meanwhile, Granny is training some of the castle staff to help her fight. Jethro and Dumbarton determine that a joust is the best way to end the dispute. Before the joust, Dumbarton has quite a bit of Brandy. The two ride at each other and both are knocked from their horses. Granny helps Jethro up and she says they won the war. Drysdale dresses Miss Jane up as Queen Elizabeth I in an attempt to fool the Clampetts. Jed gives her the deed to Canada. Granny tells the Queen that the "War of the Roses" is over and the Clampetts are no longer cowards. Jethro asks the Queen to officially make him a knight.
After the Clampetts return from London, Granny gets a letter from Hooterville asking her to help with Betty Jo Elliot's baby. Jed, Jethro and Elly have no idea who Betty Jo or her family is. Granny wants Jethro to drive her there. Granny calls Sam Drucker's store to try and get directions. Sam and Uncle Joe think it is a prank call. Miss Jane agrees to come over and fill in for Granny while she is away. Jethro gets sick when he eats some of Elly's stone grits that were supposed to be for her birds. Jethro goes running when Granny says she may have to give him a gizzard transplant. While reaching for something in a cabinet, Miss Jane hurts her back and Jed is trying to hold her up. Granny thinks Jed has fallen in love with Miss Jane. Drysdale see the two of them together and starts to believe the two will get married. Drysdale then begins to treat Miss Jane like a queen. They're at the bank and Drysdale is serving her champagne. He hires handsome Cliff (Aron Kincaid) to be her private secretary. Jed calls Drysdale and says that Jethro is better and Granny is going to Hooterville. Jed also says that Granny told him what she thought about Miss Jane and him being in love. Jed tells Drysdale that there will be no wedding. Drysdale is furious with Miss Jane.
Guest stars from Petticoat Junction: Edgar Buchanan as Uncle Joe Carson and Frank Cady as Sam Drucker
Granny is still in Hooterville and Elly is doing the cooking. Jethro and Jed are doing what they can to avoid her food. Meanwhile, Granny tells Sam Drucker that the first time she saw Betty Jo's baby, it look like a puppy dog. Jethro calls Granny at Sam's store and tells her to come home to cook. She tells him that the Elliots' baby needs her. Miss Jane gets Jethro to hire Maria, a gorgeous Italian cook who speaks no English. Once Granny believes that she has cured the Elliots' baby, she decides to get home to her starving family as quickly as possible. She uses a rail hand car, a horse, a motorcycle and finally a ride in a crop dusting plane. When Drysdale learns Granny is coming home, he goes to the Clampetts to fire Marie. Jethro, Jed and Elly are really enjoying Maria's cooking. Jethro says he wants to marry her. Drysdale changes his mind when he sees how pretty Maria is and how great she can cook. Granny parachutes down to the mansion. She gets upset with Jethro when she realizes she raced home for nothing.
Guest stars from Petticoat Junction: Linda Henning as Betty Jo, Mike Minor as Steve Elliott, and Frank Cady as Sam Drucker
Cheap Mr. Drysdale wants Miss Jane to cook one turkey for his 65 employees. The Clampetts want to visit Hooterville to celebrate Thanksgiving with the inhabitants and Betty Jo Elliot's baby. Mr. Drysdale doesn't want them to go, because he's afraid they'll stay there and take their money with them. He tries various ways to keep them from going. Drysdale even takes off some parts of their truck's engine. Miss Jane lets the Clampetts use her car. Jethro arrives at Sam Drucker's store and Eb Dawson volunteers to work for "The Star-Maker". Everyone in Hooterville believes Jethro is a big Hollywood producer. At the Shady Rest, Granny and Jed think they hear Elly flirting with a boy. Elly is really talking to the dog. Jethro tries to convince the lovely Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo that he can make them movie stars. They naively fall for his phony showbiz talk. Meanwhile, Eb Dawson is smitten with Elly and they spend some time together. Granny gets to see Steve and Betty Jo's baby again. It is time for the Thanksgiving Dinner and Jed says the prayer.
The Clampetts are about to leave Hooterville and go to say goodbye to Sam Drucker. Granny doesn't want to leave Sam and Elly doesn't want to leave Eb. They find Eb in the trunk of the car. While feeding Elly's critters, Drysdale tells Miss Jane how he still believes the Clampetts will move to Hooterville. Drysdale complains about all the things he has to do for Elly's bear. The Clampetts return and tell Drysdale about Eb and Elly and how they are practically engaged. Drysdale tells them he can get Elly a man and Granny tells him they like Eb because he's a country boy. To keep the Clampetts in Beverly Hills, Drysdale gets Hollywood actor Dash Riprock (Larry Pennell) to play homespun country boy Homer Noodleman. Homer Noodleman is Riprock's real name. Jed recognizes Dash, but Drysdale assures him he's a country boy at heart. Granny insists on meeting Homer's father. Drysdale forces Miss Jane to dress as Noble Noodleman with the promise of a large reward. When Miss Jane figures out that Drysdale misled her about the reward, she turns the tables on him.
Jethro receives letters from both Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo. Because he fooled them into believing he is a big producer, they both fool him by agreeing to marry him. Granny gets a letter from Sam Drucker. He invites them to Hooterville for Christmas. She misunderstands other things he wrote and thinks it is a love letter. Elly's bear Fairchild eats Granny's letter before she gets to finish reading it. Now she doesn't know if Sam proposed to her or not. Meanwhile, Drysdale tells Miss Jane that the bank employees are all calling him "Scrooge". He's only going to give them half a day off for Christmas and no bonus. Jed comes by to talk to Drysdale. Granny wants to operate on Fairchild to get the letter. The employees start to protest and give Drysdale a ticking present. Jed asks Drysdale to watch Fairchild while they go to Hooterville. In Hooterville, Billie Jo and Bobbie Jo write more love letters to Jethro. Granny calls Sam and again misunderstands about a proposal. Jethro decides to stay home with Drysdale. He promised to marry both girls and doesn't want to face Bobbie Jo and Billie Jo and a breach of promise issue.
It is Christmas morning and Jethro finds a lot of food under the tree. The Clampetts and Miss Jane are in Hooterville to celebrate Christmas. At the bank, Homer Cratchit (Percy Helton) hands Drysdale a written request by the employees to be allowed to leave early for Christmas. Drysdale tears the request up. Miss Jane calls Drysdale and he says she's fired. To get him worked up, she tells Drysdale that Jed gave Sam Drucker a new bank and put some money in it. The bank is actually a metal box, but she doesn't tell him that. Drysdale faints and has a dream that Sam is now the President of the Commerce Bank. When he comes to, he tells the employees they can go home. Meanwhile, Eb pursues Elly and Granny wonders if Sam will propose. Mike Minor sings his single "One Day At A Time". Back at the mansion, Jethro tells Drysdale that Fairchild the bear repeatedly beat him at cards and won all the food Jethro got. Drysdale, convinced that Jed intends to move all of his money to Drucker's bank, wants to drive to Hooterville to stop him. Jethro will let Drysdale take the truck if he takes Fairchild with him. Sam talks to Elly about her marrying Eb. Granny overhears and mistakenly believes Sam wants to marry Elly. Granny dresses like a little girl to appear younger to Sam. Everyone rides aboard the Hooterville Cannonball and sings Christmas carols.
Guest starsFrom Petticoat Junction: Edgar Buchanan as Uncle Joe Carson, Linda Henning as Betty Jo, Mike Minor as Steve Elliott, Lori Saunders as Bobbie Jo, Meredith MacRae as Billie Jo and Frank Cady as Sam DruckerFrom Green Acres: Tom Lester as Eb Dawson
When the Clampetts and Miss Jane arrive home they learn from Jethro that Drysdale went to Hooterville where they were spending Christmas. Jethro says that Drysdale took Elly's bear, Fairchild, with. Jed says they never got to Hooterville. Meanwhile, Sheriff Pete Ragsdale finds Drysdale and a drunken Fairchild parked on the side of the road. The two are jailed in a little town for transporting Granny's "white lightning". Ragsdale calls the bank, but Homer Cratchit says he never heard of Drysdale. Miss Jane finds Homer and Kathy King (Stacy King) dancing in Drysdale's office. Homer tells Miss Jane about Drysdale being jailed as Jane claims that no Drysdale means that everyone is out of a job. Jed calls Sam Drucker to see if he can help Drysdale. Sam shows up at the jail, but Drysdale wants nothing to do with him. He believes Sam wants to get Jed's money for his bank. Drysdale appears before Judge Vinegar Joe Johnson (J. Pat O'Malley). The Clampetts show up to the trial, and through a few favors, they get Drysdale of the hook. However, he had accompany Judge Johnson and the Clampetts on a fishing trip where he has to clean the fish as a form of community service.
Also guest-starring George Dunn as Bailiff and Hank Worden as Harry.
Drysdale is still trying to get rent money from "Mr. Show Business", Jethro. Drysdale talks Jed into taking over the space and setting up Jed Clampett Enterprises. What Drysdale doesn't know is that Jed plans to sharpen tools, whittle things and have a repair shop. Granny will have a doctor and dentist office and a barber shop. Elly will be the pretty receptionist and give away animals to each customer. When Jethro hears about Jed taking over, he threatens to take his stable of stars somewhere else and Drysdale says that fine with him. Drysdale is surprised when he finds out what Jed and Granny intend to do. Elly is going to walk around outside the building and advertise JC Enterprises. Drysdale doesn't want that to happen, so he tells Jed he'll find the customers for him. Drysdale decides to have his employees get their healthcare from Granny. He tells Miss Jane to seal off the 5th floor from the public. Drysdale tells Homer Cratchit about the health care program. Elly tells Homer that Granny can make his hair grow in. Granny goes to work on Drysdale's teeth despite his objections.
Granny gets Mr. Drysdale up at 5am so he can open the bank for them. Drysdale tells Miss Jane that he hired "troubleshooter" Homer Bedloe for the bank. His main mission is to get the Clampetts to close their business operating out of the 5th floor. Bedloe arrives and mentions how he worked for Drysdale's father and admired him for his meanness. When Bedloe and Drysdale see Jed coming, Drysdale pretends to be on the Clampetts' side and tells Bedloe to leave. Jed tells Drysdale that Jethro will be joining the company as a psychiatrist and fish cleaner. Homer tells Drysdale he has a plan to get rid of the Clampetts. Meanwhile, Homer Cratchit now has a full head of hair thanks to Granny. Homer and Drysdale put their plan into action. Thinking they've caused Drysdale enough trouble, Jed says they will leave. But after seeing what a good friend Drysdale was for sticking up for them, they decide to stay.
Sam Drucker wins a trip to Beverly Hills and Bobbie Jo sends a telegram to let the Clampetts know. Granny misunderstands the message and believes he's coming to court her. After hearing that Sam is coming for Granny, Elly starts working on her cooking skills. Jethro is afraid him and Jed will be left at the mercy of Elly's terrible cooking. Jethro hopes to sabotage this supposed romance. When Sam arrives, Jethro tells him that many handsome actors are pursuing Granny. Jethro tells Sam that even Dash Riprock is courting Granny. Sam says that Dash is too young for Granny. Jethro says that Dash is actually pushing 70 and it is make-up that makes him look young. When Drysdale hears Sam's in town, he's afraid Sam is trying to get Jed to put his money in the Hooterville bank. Drysdale begs Granny not to move to Hooterville. Jethro gets Dash Riprock to dress up like the Lone Ranger and pretend to be one of Granny's many suitors. Dash rides up to the mansion on a white horse dressed as the Lone Ranger and then takes Granny away. Jethro's plan to make Sam leave doesn't work, because Sam's enjoying the excitement.
Granny thinks a mountain lion ate Jethro in the root cellar, but it is Elly's new pet. Granny learns that Elverna Bradshaw's daughter is getting married. Granny tells Jed they have to go back to the hills to find Elly a man. Jethro says he can bring some college boys over to meet Elly. Granny tells Drysdale they're going to the hills and want to take their money as a dowry for Elly. Jethro brings three students over, but it turns out they are more college protesters than college students. Elly leaves with Mitch (Rob Reiner), one of the three, and Jethro. Drysdale tries to talk Jed out of leaving for the hills. Elly comes by dressed as a hippie and carrying a protest sign. Granny, Jed and Elly leave for the hills. Meanwhile, Jethro stays at the mansion and plans to continue his college pursuits.
Miss Jane calls Drysdale at the mansion. He tells her to get him on a plane to the hills as he has to get the Clampetts back. He's tired of cooking for Elly's critters and Jethro. Meanwhile, the Silver Dollar City Fair begins and Granny and Elverna Bradshaw's feud continues. Miss Jane tells Drysdale that the Clampetts are staying until they find Elly a husband. After she's married, the whole family might stay there. Granny wants their money sent to them. Elly has entered several contests and Jed is worried about the baking one. Granny keeps up her efforts to get Elly married, extolling her virtues to all the bachelors at the fair. Jed tries to get Granny to stop. Granny helps Chick Allen, the Herb Medicine Man, sell his products. While doing so, she promotes Elly's beauty again. Elverna tries to stop her and Granny rubs Chick's Magic Mud all over her face.
Miss Jane and Mr. Drysdale try to get to New York as quick as they can to stop Honest John's con job. After arriving in New York, Honest John tells the Clampetts that the police might take him to their station because he "always likes to help them out". The police do take John away. The Clampetts tell their Cabbie (Dick Wesson) to take them to Central Park as they have just bought it. The police drop off John at Central Park and the police officer (John Cliff) gives him a twenty-four hour notice to leave. The Clampetts find a spot to build a cabin by a lake. They witness an old lady get robbed by two muggers. John tells them it is just a game. Honest John continues to show Jed around New York trying to "sell" him as many landmarks as possible. Jethro and then Jed come across the muggers, who soon find out how strong Jethro and Jed are. Honest John tells the Clampetts he has to leave. Miss Jane and Drysdale wind up with the same Cabbie the Clampetts had and he takes them to where he dropped off the Clampetts. Feeling guilty after the Clampetts treated him so nice, Honest John gives Jed back all the money he took from him.
Back in California, Miss Jane is driving Granny and Elly home. Granny lost her glasses on the plane. She claims she doesn't need them, but in reality, she does. Back at the mansion, veterinarian Dr. Bob Graham is taking care of Elly's critters and is by the pool. Granny recalls that Drysdale said Dr. Graham would be perfect for Elly. Granny goes to the pool and mistakes a seal for the veterinarian. Granny tells Jed how ugly Bob is. The airline found Granny's glasses and Miss Jane is bringing them to her. Bob introduces Elly to his young little brother, Jimmy. Bob asks Elly to dinner and a movie and then leaves. Granny mistakes Jimmy's pet otter for him. Jed gives Granny her glasses. Granny mistakes handsome Dr. Graham for Miss Jane's boyfriend. Jethro love talks Miss Jane so Bob can be with Elly. Bob tells Miss Jane they should double date. Bob comes by for Elly and Miss Jane shows up. Jed will go out with Miss Jane because Jethro ate too much and can't get up.
After getting a letter from Betty Jo and Steve Elliot with their baby, the Clampetts want to go and visit them. Jethro is still renting a general's uniform. Jethro comes to Hooterville in his uniform and on a helicopter. Sam Drucker figures out it is Jethro. Jethro hopes to have Steve give him flying lessons. Steve is nervous when a General comes to his airstrip until he realizes it is Jethro. Steve tries to explain to Jethro that he shouldn't be wearing the uniform as it is impersonating an officer. The rest of the Clampetts return to Hooterville. Sam introduces Mr. "Howard Hewes" (Guy Raymond) to the Clampetts. He owns a lot of land in Hooterville including the spot where Steve keeps his plane. Steve would like to give Jethro lessons but he doesn't believe his old plane is safe enough. Jed is thinking of buying Steve a new plane and wants to invest in Steve's business along with Howard. Jed calls Drysdale about getting some money. Drysdale believes it to be the real Howard Hughes. Drysdale, seeing dollar signs as usual, plans to leave for Hooterville right away, hoping to get Hughes to put some of his fortune in the Commerce Bank as he thinks that Howard Hewes is actually the reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes.
Granny thinks that Howard is sweet on her until Betty Jo tells her he's married. Sam takes a picture of Jed and Howard for the paper. Meanwhile, Drysdale has written a song for Howard and intends to bring some secretaries along to sing it for him. Mr. Drysdale, Miss Jane and the three singing secretaries arrive in Hooterville. Betty Jo is surprised to see the Shady Rest full of presents that Drysdale brought with. Granny thinks they are for her and that Sam sent them. Drysdale fawns all over Howard after he meets him. Mrs. Bertha Hewes (Winifred Deforest Coffin) asks Granny and Betty Jo if they've seen Howard. Bertha thinks he's chasing after other women. Drysdale has his secretaries sing for Howard. Bertha shows up and finds the ladies cuddling up and singing to Howard. Bertha chases Howard out of the hotel. Drysdale is then greatly disappointed when he discovers Jed has gone into business with plain farmer "Howard Hewes" rather than Howard Hughes.
Elverna discovers Elly's chimp is in the car and not Shorty. Gloria drops Shorty back at the mansion. Jed confronts Shorty about being with Gloria. Jed tells Elverna that nothing should prevent the wedding now. To stall for time, Shorty tells Elverna they'll get married once he has his bachelor party. When Elverna asks where the party will be, Shorty pretends Drysdale is giving it. Confused by Jed's phone call, Drysdale says he will give Shorty a party at the bank. Drysdale gathers the girls from the secretarial pool and tells them about the party. Drysdale steals one of the girls idea for a Harem Girl theme. Elverna finds out from Jethro about the Harem Girl party Drysdale is going to throw. When Shorty hears about the pretty girls, he's interested in the party. Shad and Jed think they should go as well to keep an eye on Shorty. Granny and Elverna decide to dress up and crash the party. Drysdale has his office decorated like a harem. Shorty arrives and is happy to see Gloria dressed as a Harem Girl. Jed and Shad arrive and the slave girl auction starts. Granny and Elverna arrive dressed up and Elverna tells Shorty they will get married
Elly and Jethro tell Jed and Granny that they saw Honest John while they were driving. They flashback to when they had to say goodbye to him while in Central Park. Honest John returns to his wife Flo (Kathleen Freeman) and confesses that he has gone straight. John flashes back to when Jed gave him money for the park. Flo convinces him he's got to get back into the "con-game" and should start with the Clampetts again. Meanwhile, Jed flashes back to when the police dropped John off at the park. Just then, Honest John shows up at the mansion. John claims he will build a giant fan to blow all the smog out of Los Angeles through the mountains. Jed has a hard time getting some money from Mr. Drysdale. Jed tells him the project is a secret, but it has to do with drilling in the San Bernardino Mountains. Drysdale thinks Jed has struck oil there. Honest John gets half a million from Jed. Each of the family thank him for what's he's going to do. Honest John tells Flo about the money and how easy it was to get. She keeps asking him where it is. He tells her he once again had a change of heart and gave it back. She starts yelling and throwing things at him as he runs out.
Jed and Granny continue to praise Honest John. Honest John tries to explain to Flo why he gave Jed the money back. Flo is intent on helping John regain his scheming composure. Meanwhile, Drysdale wants his real estate agent Fred Hutchins (Dave Willock) to buy up land in the mountains where he thinks Jed has found more oil. Drysdale sends Miss Jane to find out the location where Jed plans to drill. Flo and John go to the Clampetts to continue the smog removal scam. Flo goes as Honest John's Spanish mother. Miss Jane finds out from Granny that Jed is drilling to remove smog, not drilling for oil. She finds out from Jed the location. But to teach Drysdale a lesson, she won't tell him about the smog. Jed and the rest go to get the sack of money that Honest John returned. Elly tells them that Jethro took it and went to look for John. Jed says he'll go to the bank and get more. Fred tries to talk Drysdale out of buying what are just a bunch of worthless rocks. This time Jed gets 7 hundred thousand. Flo breaks into Jed's wall safe, but it is full of Granny's goat cheese and she faints. Once again Jed gives Honest John the money. But this time Flo, who has just had a lot of Granny's "medicine", makes him give it back. Drysdale finds out that he spent a fortune on useless land.
(This season an "edited" version of the opening credits, without the ballad, is used.)
Granny tells Jed that Drysdale is coming by to pick up the money that Honest John didn't take. Jed says he promised the money to Honest John. Jethro wants to think of a way to help with the smog problem. Drysdale shows up with an armored truck. Drysdale had Miss Jane dress up as a guard to take the money. Jed recognizes Miss Jane right away. Jed won't let Drysdale take the money. Miss Jane tells Jethro he must convert the gas powered car engine to something else, like steam or electricity. Drysdale tells Jed that only the President can get the right people for the smog problem. Jethro converts the truck to steam (evidently either wood-fired or coal-fired, producing thick clouds of smoke). The Clampetts decide to travel to Washington DC to give their fortune to the President to fight the smog problem. Jethro converts the truck to electricity (requiring a very, very long extension cord). Drysdale finds a way for Jed to keep the money in the bank, a least for now. The Clampetts head for Washington.
Granny stills believes that Shorty has been changed into a seal. Granny tries to get Dr. Klingner to cure Shorty, but he is out of town. Then, after threatening Mark, she thinks he has changed Shorty back. When Shorty tells Granny that Mark is a nice guy, she gives him raw fish to eat. Miss Jane and Secretary Elizabeth Gordon inform Drysdale that they have a check for Jed for 48 million. Drysdale comes up with a sob story to get Miss Jane to leave. He then forces Elizabeth to help him prevent Jed from taking his money. Drysdale dresses as Napoleon to make Jed think taking the money has caused Drysdale to lose his mind. Jed leaves without his money. Meanwhile, Granny wants Jethro to drive her to the airport so she can fly back to the hills. But because of something Jethro says, Granny gets the idea that if Mark tastes Elly's cooking, he will leave. Shorty brings Miss Gordon to the mansion and she gives Jed the check. Drysdale finds out and is furious. Jed finds out about Granny's plan. Granny tells Elizabeth to not go into the water with Shorty. Jed forces Granny to cook the food. Granny thinks Shorty and Miss Gordon have been changed into seals. Then Drysdale shows up in his Napoleon outfit to talk to Jed.
The women employees at the bank continue to picket against Drysdale's unfair work practices. Miss Jane asks Drysdale to negotiate but he refuses. The Clampetts drive past the bank and see the girls. To help them out, Jed tells them they can stay at the mansion. The Clampetts are caught in the middle where Jed tries to hear both sides but Granny and Elly are sympathetic to the secretaries' plight. Jed recalls when Drysdale told Jed he fought a battle on the island of Grun. Drysdale hears of Jed's offer and that the girls threaten to tell Jed everything he has done. Drysdale tricks the girls into believing he will negotiate with them and then he locks the girls in his office. Drysdale goes to the mansion and pretends he's back from surgery. He says that Miss Jane has been brainwashed by the GRUN girls. After Granny thinks that Drysdale harmed one of the girls, she throws him to the ground. Miss Jane and Helen climb out the window and head to the mansion to tell Jed of Drysdale's lies. Granny arrives at the bank and climbs up to the window. Miss Jane and Helen arrive at the mansion. Jed tells Drysdale he wants to hear their side of the story. After Granny finds out what happened to the girls at the bank, she teaches Drysdale a lesson.
Jed and Jethro are still fending for themselves as Granny and Elly are still at Miss Jane's place. Banzai Sakito is still feeling humiliated and is staying with Jed and Jethro. Drysdale tells them that he's going to pick up Banzai's geisha girls to help run the mansion. Meanwhile at Miss Jane's place, Elly's chimp Betsy gets Granny rolled up in the couch bed. Betsy then gets Granny stuck in the Murphy bed. Drysdale arrives with the three geisha girls. Miss Jane sneaks Elizabeth, Susie and Helen into her small studio apartment as a headquarters for their cause. Miss Jane has to keep the women's presence a secret from her landlord Foster Phinney (Charles Lane). Thinking they are types of food, Jethro asks for a karate chop and a judo roll. He winds up on the floor each time. Because of Phinney, Granny has to cook on the roof of the building. Jed is starting to enjoy being pampered by the geisha girls. Granny calls Jed and asks if he's suffering yet and is willing to concede to women's lib. Jed says he should probably suffer a few more days.
Also guest-starring Miko Mayama as Miko and Sumi Haru as Girl #2.
Miss Jane brings Jed a bunch of Elly's pets as they are not allowed in her apartment building. Drysdale complains to Miss Jane that Elly can't do the things she needs to as a secretary. Jed comes to the bank to deposit a large check, but he then can't find it. Granny shows up with the check. She has a long story about how she found it and it involves Elly's critters. Dick Bremerkamp (Mike Minor), a penniless actor, lives in Miss Jane's building. Mr. Phinney tells Dick he owes 3 months back rent. Dick says he's expecting some money from his grandmother. He saw Elly and asks Phinney about her. Dick learns from Phinney that the Clampetts are millionaires. Dick poses as Robert Audubon, a descendant of John James Audubon, so he can use Miss Jane to get to Elly May. Believing he is a bird lover, Miss Jane becomes infatuated with Robert. Elly and Miss Jane tell Jed and Granny about Robert. Miss Jane also wrote a poem for Robert. At the bank, Elly introduces Robert to Drysdale. Robert fools Drysdale into believing that he is a nephew of billionaire J. Paul Getty. Drysdale lets Robert take Elly to go bird watching. Robert was hoping to be alone with Elly, but then Miss Jane shows up.
Granny is feeding Elly's critters and Jed catches her sweet talking them. Miss Jane still thinks that Robert Audubon is interested in her. Elly brings her chimp Betsy to the bank. Drysdale sees Betsy and he gets quite upset. When he realizes she belongs to Elly, Drysdale is suddenly very nice to the chimp. Robert comes by the bank to teach Elly how to drive. Drysdale still thinks Robert is related to J. Paul Getty. The driving lesson doesn't go well. Robert spends some time talking to Elly about her family. He learns that Granny is quite fond of Davey Crockett and decides to pretend to be related to Davy to impress Granny. Phinney wants his rent money from Robert. Phinney lends Robert some money but takes his apartment key until he gets the money back. At the bank, Drysdale has Betsy washing his windows. Meanwhile, Jethro is still in hiding thinking that Louellen Aden is still around and wanting to get married. Granny leaves food for him outside the front door. Robert comes by the mansion and introduces himself as Robert A. Crockett. Robert gives Granny a raccoon skin cap that he claims belonged to Davey. Drysdale now has Betsy shining shoes. Later, Elly is sunbathing on the roof of the apartment and Robert is taking pictures of her. Miss Jane shows up in her bird watching outfit and Robert leaves.
Jed is mixing up a batch of mortar to patch the foundation. Granny believes that Elly and Robert A. Crockett will soon be wed. Jethro, who is still hiding from the fear of marriage plans shown in "Elly, the Secretary", comes by and takes the bucket of mortar thinking it was grits. Miss Jane is mad at Drysdale for making Elly's chimp walk around town with a wearable sandwich board advertising the bank. Officer Massey (Curt Massey, longtime music composer for the series) finds Jethro and brings him home. Jethro is all doubled up from eating the mortar. Robert gives Elly another driving lesson and it is not going well. Granny doctors Jethro back to health. When Granny mentions Elly getting married, he misunderstands and says he's leaving again fearing getting married. Robert brings another present to Granny. She brings up him marrying Elly. Turns out that Jethro didn't really leave as Robert sees him outside. Drysdale comes by and tells Robert that he has a love poem that Elly wrote to him. Actually, it was Miss Jane that wrote the poem. Drysdale gives Robert a large sum of money and tells him to take Elly to Vegas and get married. Elly tells Robert that it was Miss Jane that wrote the poem. Robert brings Elly back to the bank. Not being able to keep up with his multiple identities, he admits to everyone that he is Dick Bremerkamp, an out-of-work actor. Drysdale puts Dick to work washing windows.