[To Carol Connelly] I guess what I'm trying to say is... you make me want to be a better man.
[to Verdell, as he throws him down the garbage chute] This is New York. If you make it here, you can make it anywhere.
[to Simon Bishop] As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap when or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?
[trying to write] "Love was..." [Simon Bishop knocks on his door] Son of a BITCH! Pansy-ass stool pusher!
[to Simon Bishop] Well, I work all the time. So never, NEVER interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire. Not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home, and one week later, there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body, and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're gonna faint - even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudge-packer that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States, and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
[to Verdell] I think it's a beautiful day for our walk today. Very nice. [Verdell is avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk, just like Melvin does. Melvin slows and observes the dog mirroring his behavior. Verdell carefully places his paws again to avoid a crack in the sidewalk.] What? Huh? [to Verdell] Hey! Hey! [He laughs out loud.] Look at that! Look at him! [He puts on plastic gloves.] I've gotta give you something. I gotta give you something real good, too. Now, I'm gonna show it to you. Come on, buddy. [He lifts Verdell to eye level.] Don't be like me, don't you be like me. You stay just the way you are 'cause you are a perfect man, and I'm gonna take you home and get you something to eat.
[to Verdell, affectionately] Yes, I hate the doggy! Yes, I hate the doggy!
Worst sidewalk in New York. Look where they put it.
[to patients in Dr. Green's waiting room] What if this is as good as it gets?
[to Brian] I'll be quiet. Just let me stay here. No problem. Go get Carol. Get her here. I'm not a - a prick. You are. I'm not judging. I'm a great customer. This day has been a disaster. I'm not sure if I can handle this, too.
[to Simon Bishop] Nelly, you're a disgrace to depression.
[to Simon Bishop] Quit worrying. You'll be back on your knees in no time.
[about Carol Connelly's promise to never sleep with him] "Never," she says. "Never," she says.
[introducing Carol Connelly and Simon Bishop to each other] Carol, the waitress, Simon, the fag.
[to the bartender] The next thing I know, she's sitting right there next to me. Well, it's not right to go into details. I got nervous. I screwed up. I said the wrong thing. Where if I hadn't, I... I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got a life. Instead, I'm here with you. No offense, but a moron pushing the last legal drug.
