John Callahan's Quads! (or simply Quads!) is an adult animated television series produced by Nelvana.[1] It was created by and based upon the work of John Callahan, who also created another Nelvana-produced cartoon, Pelswick. The show aired on Teletoon's Adult Block in Canada, SBS in Australia, and in Latin America on Locomotion and Adult Swim.[2] The show never aired in the United States; however, the series was released on YouTube in 2018. This was one of the first shows animated completely using the Macromedia Flash software.
When Quads Won't Leave was an early title for the cartoon.[4]
Characters
Reilly O'Reilly – The show's main protagonist and antihero. He is paralyzed from the neck down and confined to a wheelchair after getting run over by his future neighbor, Mort Bromberg. The lawsuit against Mort yields him a luxury home in Forest Hills, which he invites his friends to live with him in. For the most part, he is an apathetic and cynical slacker whose main (and only) incentives in life include fornicating with his girlfriend Franny, drinking, and hatching new get-rich-quick schemes (usually with the assistance of other morally dubious individuals such as Blazer and Griz) that typically end in disaster.
Franny – Reilly's soulmate, spiritual advisor, lover, and best friend. She is a young and hairy woman who is known for her voluptuous figure, with wavy red hair in a ponytail and a pale complexion. She appears to be a sexualized love-interest and a stereotypical hippie who is into environmental activism, sexuality, New Age spiritualism, and abstains from shaving her bodily hair (except on special occasions as a special gift to Reilly). She also acts as the moral center of an otherwise amoral and disordered household, as well as a running gag where Franny is a frequent object of lust to perverted men like Blazer who repeatedly attempts (and fails) to hit on her.
Spalding – One of the more stable members of the group, he is Reilly's personal caregiver. He is a homosexual with a well-built physique and is originally from Australia. Although good-intentioned, he is a drama queen who craves attention and allows his overt sexuality to get the best of him at times.
Blazer – Having lost his entire body as a result of gambling debts, he has been reduced to a head on a skateboard, which he uses as a means of mobility. He is a crude, ill-mannered, and cantankerous pervert who will go to any length to proposition women for even the most obscene sexual favors (such as asking Deborah if he can watch her go to the bathroom). Blazer is also the most nihilistic and amoral of the group, thus making him extremely manipulative and deceptive. As such, he is not above habitually lying to and exploiting his friends (or anyone, for that matter) for his own personal gain (financial, sexual, or otherwise).
Lefty – Formerly a professional masseur, his hands were bitten off as a result of his having mistaken a wild dog's behind for his client's back (an event he continues to have nightmares about, as shown in one episode). Following this, he received a pair of prosthetic metal hooks in place of his hands, which he often has immense difficulty utilizing to perform everyday tasks that require hands. He is an educated and cultured individual who typically finds himself at odds with his housemates, who are in contrast with him, personality-wise.
Fontaine – A blind black man with a gentle and caring demeanor. Due to his blindness and trusting nature, he is frequently taken advantage of by the others (especially Reilly and Blazer) in their many escapades. In one episode, it is revealed he has an illegitimate son who is also blind.
Griz – The apotheosis of unrefined, Griz is a large, disheveled oaf of a man who speaks with an Irish accent and rivals Blazer in his crassness. According to him in one episode, he changes his shirt only once every leap year. He runs a seedy, dilapidated dive bar infested with rats and cockroaches, that the group frequent for their drinking needs. Griz is perpetually drunk and, as a result, prone to fits of alcoholic rage and extremely poor judgment, the latter of which includes driving severely intoxicated and encouraging the dishonest deeds of others. On the rare occasion Griz is seen sober, he is quick to "fix" this by immediately consuming large quantities of alcohol to return to what he perceives to be his natural state, as he looks upon sobriety with contempt. He also has a sister who is equally repugnant in the way she carries herself.
Mort Bromberg – The man responsible for running Reilly over with his car, crippling him. Feeling guilty, Mort unwittingly buys Reilly an extravagant mansion next to his own, much to the chagrin of his wife, Liz, who despises Reilly and his friends. Despite caring for his wife and doing anything he can to please her, he is often met with Liz's callous indifference to his efforts and even well-being (such as Liz opting to go shopping for a black dress instead of calling for help when Mort suffered a heart attack, in one episode).
Liz Bromberg – Mort's cold-blooded wife. Liz detests Reilly and his friends simply because they are disabled and feels their disadvantaged nature does not gel with the environment of their affluent neighbourhood. She initially tried to have the group evicted, but subsequent episodes revolved around her finding some way to take advantage of them.
Deborah – The group's physical therapist who runs a rehabilitation clinic the group frequent for sessions with. She is cheerful and positive, yet addresses the group in a patronizing manner, especially Fontaine, who she speaks to in Ebonics, perhaps assuming he cannot understand standard English.
Sister Butch – A Catholicnun who resides in the cathedral next door to Reilly's house and frequently spies on him and his activities using a pair of binoculars. A harsh and vindictive disciplinarian who believes she is doing God's work, she is often seen attempting to proselytize and force her views down the throats of others. Like Liz Bromberg, Sister Butch is contemptuous of Reilly and his friends, yet, however, does come to his aid on several occasions and even saves his life twice. This is most likely an ulterior motive to persuade Reilly into attending church more regularly.
An able-bodied drunk named Reilly finds himself paralyzed after the driver, a local wealthy man named Mort Bromberg, runs him over. To keep from suing him, Mort gives Reilly a cash settlement and a mansion next to Mort and his social-climbing wife, Liz.
2
"Bad Manors"
February 9, 2001 (2001-02-09)
To raise money to keep the mansion, Reilly and the disabled friends he mocked in the first episode decide to rent out the mansion as a place for parties and conventions.
3
"1-800-GIMP"
February 16, 2001 (2001-02-16)
Liz Bromberg holds a telethon to raise money for "unfortunate gimps" and ropes in Reilly and his friends.
4
"The Fraud Quad"
February 23, 2001 (2001-02-23)
Reilly is jealous of a swarthy, charming, Spanish man who may be faking his disability.
5
"Christmas Holidaze"
December 17, 2001 (2001-12-17)
Reilly's battle with overcoming his alcoholism is challenged over the Christmas holidays.
6
"Life Wheel 3000"
March 2, 2001 (2001-03-02)
Reilly gets a wheelchair that begins to alienate him from his friends and girlfriend, Franny.
7
"Gonad's Faust"
March 9, 2001 (2001-03-09)
Reilly sells his soul so he can regain his sexual stamina.
8
"Monkey in the Middle"
March 16, 2001 (2001-03-16)
Frustrated by his physical limitations following his accident, Reilly buys a helper monkey.
9
"Son's Also Blinded"
March 23, 2001 (2001-03-23)
Fontaine (the blind, African-American man of the group) is reunited with the son he never knew he had. Meanwhile, Franny wants to have a baby.
10
"Guinea Pigs"
March 30, 2001 (2001-03-30)
Reilly, Lefty, Fontaine, Griz, and Blazer get roped into medical experiments run by their counselor, Deborah Golden.
11
"The Unkindest Cut"
April 6, 2001 (2001-04-06)
Reilly accidentally finds himself running for city council against Liz Bromberg. Meanwhile, a beautiful thalidomide woman named Randy moves into the mansion, and Blazer discovers that Randy is transgender.
12
"Fatal Distraction"
April 13, 2001 (2001-04-13)
Spaulding (Reilly's homosexual masseur) blackmails Reilly into being his boyfriend so he can catch the eye of his old flame, Bruce. Meanwhile, Griz's (the alcoholic bartender) cowgirl sister comes to town and has her eyes set on Spaulding, not knowing that he's not into women.
13
"Spalding in the Family Way"
April 20, 2001 (2001-04-20)
Spaulding's parents come to visit and uses Reilly's hippie girlfriend, Franny, to trick his parents into thinking he's heterosexual. Meanwhile, Reilly and the rest of his friends help Griz clean up the bar in time for the health inspector's visit.
When Lefty (the hook-handed chef of the household) cooks an omelette that has an image of The Virgin Mary in it, Reilly sees this as a chance to make money off the religious by transforming into a smooth-talking, faith-healing preacher man, much to the disgust of his former Catholic school nun teacher.
15
"Vacation to Lesbos"
September 8, 2002 (2002-09-08)
Franny, upset that Reilly takes her for granted, decides to take a break from men and experiment with a woman...only to find herself in too deep when another woman falls for her.
16
"To Slash or Not to Slash"
September 14, 2002 (2002-09-14)
While pursuing his dream of being a legitimate actor, Lefty soon lands gigs as serial killers in B-horror movies.
17
"Let the Gimp Games Begin"
September 15, 2002 (2002-09-15)
Reilly starts his own Olympic Games for people with handicaps and disabilities.
18
"Midnight Cash Cowboy"
September 21, 2002 (2002-09-21)
In order to fit in with the sexually experimental women of her country club, Liz Bromberg starts an affair with Fontaine.
19
"Trial and Error"
September 22, 2002 (2002-09-22)
Blazer meets a sexy, wild woman at a rave and takes her home...and things get sticky when the woman is found dead and Blazer is accused of her murder.
20
"Gray Matter"
September 28, 2002 (2002-09-28)
A government worker investigates Reilly after discovering that he may be cashing the social security checks of a dead woman.
21
"The Gambling Bug"
September 29, 2002 (2002-09-29)
Reilly's gambling addiction hits a new low when he loses the mansion and Franny.
22
"The Magnificent Severed"
October 5, 2002 (2002-10-05)
Liz Bromberg accuses Reilly of stealing her priceless rubies at the same time Reilly gets an inheritance from an uncle he never knew he had.
23
"Griz Savant"
October 6, 2002 (2002-10-06)
To save the Disability Center from shutting down, Reilly and his friends hold a talent show, but all of them are wildly untalented...except for Griz, who can play the piano like a pro while drunk.
24
"Heaven Can Bite Me"
October 12, 2002 (2002-10-12)
Reilly has a near-death experience after eating a booze-laced brownie.
25
"Cripple Challenge"
October 13, 2002 (2002-10-13)
Reilly and his friends become contestants on a Survivor-esque reality show for the disabled.
26
"Cain and Enabler"
October 19, 2002 (2002-10-19)
Reilly becomes the sobriety sponsor to an ageing rock star.
^Crump, William D. (2019). Happy Holidays—Animated! A Worldwide Encyclopedia of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Year's Cartoons on Television and Film. McFarland & Co. p. 57. ISBN9781476672939.
